Does anyone know where the quote in this post title came from? I'll give you a hint... it's from the best Keanu-Reeves-Bomb-on-a-bus Mega Movie EVER!
That's right... the most awesome movie of the 90s Speed. The scene I'm referring to is the one where 'The Bomber' is taunting Jack after he has killed Harry. (Sorry, spoilers if you haven't seen it, but really... it came out in 1994 so you SHOULD have watched it by now... just saying ;)). Ok, so 'The Bomber' (Howard Payne) is talking to Jack and says...
"A bomb is made to explode. That's it's meaning. It's purpose. Your life is empty because you spend it trying to stop the bomb from becoming. And for who? For what? You know what a bomb is, Jack, that doesn't explode? It's a cheap gold watch, buddy."
Now PLEASE don't call the cops on me because I'm NOT thinking of bombing anyone or anything (just thought I'd get that out there), but for some reason, that quote has been on my mind a LOT lately. And it relates to kids.
Why? And HOW would a quote from Speed relate to kids? Well, here is my take on it. My kids are live wires as all kids are. They are loud. They play. They make messes. They are KIDS. However, *I* feel like my life is spent trying to 'stop the bomb from exploding'. I constantly say, "You can't be so loud. Daddy is sleeping." or "Don't jump on the couch, you could get hurt." or "Ok, time to stop running. Time for the baby to go to bed... "
I mean GAH!
"Stop... " this and "Quit" that... what kind of a life is that for me OR my kids... so maybe MY life is 'empty' (for lack of a much better word) because I'm trying to keep the 'bomb from exploding' aka trying to keep my 'kids from being loud'. Maybe I should just 'let' them be kids and stop worrying about it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
But how do I do that?
I'm terrified of everything. I'm afraid I will do or won't do something and my kids will get hurt (or worse) because of it and it terrifies me. That's why I try so hard to keep them in line... to try not to let them get hurt... to do what's 'right'... but what kind of life is that for my girls?
Am I doing right by trying to protect them or will they grow to resent me when they get older?
Sorry for the downer post. I've just been really thinking about this a lot lately. I keep telling my husband that I'm SOOOOOOO ready for that parenting manual to show up in my mailbox. I'm the type of person who wants to know I'm doing the right thing (at home, at school, in life), but 'in life' that's not really possible.
Anyway, that's today's ramblings. I was going to post my awesome couponing (well awesome to me) deal I got yesterday, but this wouldn't let me... hopefully I'll get to tomorrow or Friday. It was the best haul I've gotten.
Much love,
Kelly