Purple Prose + TIME

Which One is Not Like the Others?

Oops! I forgot to post the truth about me from Monday. So here goes.

I’m fluent in three languages: Finnish, Swedish, and English.

False. I’ve studied Finnish, but I’m not fluent. Not even close.

My favorite Disney Princess is Snow White. And boy does she ever end up with one hottie of a prince.

False. I prefer Aurora from Sleeping Beauty.

I used to promote birth control when I was a pharmaceutical sales rep. Of course I had to suffer through the wisecracks about the drugs efficacy when I was pregnant. The joke became old fast.

False. Most of it was true except I used to promote drugs for cardiovascular disease and asthma. But I did get the comment, “I hope you’re not promoting birth control,” more times than I’d care to remember when I was pregnant.

I married my college sweetheart. He used to be quarterback for the football team.

False. I met my husband after I graduated from grad school. I almost dated a university football player. Only I didn’t realize he liked me. Okay, maybe he should have told me that a lot sooner than he did.

I used to train competitively as a biathlete. You know, the sport with skis where you shot at things. Preferably not your fellow skiers.

False. I used to ski cross-country, but I never trained to be a biathlete.

I’ve taken Latin dance lessons and can do one spicy salsa. That’s when my husband fell in love with me. Or so he claims.

False. My husband and I started taking ballroom dancing when we first met. We both sucked at it.

When I was in grad school, I tested the fitness level of a NHL (National Hockey League) player the Edmonton Oilers were thinking of signing. He hit on me the entire time. Several hours later, I showed up at his hotel.

True. Only I didn’t know he was staying there. I was at the hotel to pick up my work visa from the Finnish Consulate, which was in the hotel. And judging from his expression . . . well you can imagine what he thought. Fortunately his ‘handler’ was dragging him to the airport. And no, the Oilers never signed him. Too much of a bad reputation. No kidding!

So there you go. The real truths about me.

favorite, hope, LIFE, and more:

Which One is Not Like the Others? + TIME