Purple Prose + Still

Show Me The Voice Blogfest & Contest

In case you haven't heard, Brenda Drake is having a blogfest/contest. It not to late to enter if you haven't already.

After everyone’s wonderful comments this morning, I decided to do some editing and this is the newest version of my YA contemporary novel, Still.

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My stomach clenches as Dad cranks up the volume on the TV, and my fork pauses mid air. The news reporter’s talking about the seventeen year old who went missing a few days ago. Still no leads.
I squeeze my eyes shut as a memory from last summer assaults me. Fingers tightly gripping my shoulders. My heels dragging along the damp forest ground. Fallen branches digging their spikes into my bare legs. The darkness suffocating me.

“I’m so glad that isn’t you, Calleigh. Calleigh?” Dad pulls me back to the present, my heart still crashing against my chest.
I open my eyes to find him watching me from across the dinner table, a frown on his face.

“You okay?”
“Huh? Yeah, sure. I just remembered something I need to do.” The lie slips out before I can stop it. All I want to do is escape to my room and pretend I have no clue what the girl might be feeling. Instead, I push the remainder of my tofu casserole around the plate, fighting against the memory.

Mom cuts her broccoli into pieces. “Do you remember my friend Amy Platter?” A hopeful smile breaks on her face. Something about it makes me squirm. Like she knows whatever she’s planning to tell me, I’m going to hate.

My eyes dart to the kitchen door. What are the chances I can make a break for it without her stopping me? I mean really, what’s she going to do, trip me?

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I currently have fulls and partials out, but I've made some changes to the beginning based on suggestions from the Secret Agent during last month's MSFV contest (and from this contest so far). I would love some feedback before I start querying again with the new start. :)

blogfest, contest, hope, Novel, and more:

Show Me The Voice Blogfest & Contest + Still