Purple Prose + Writing

Doing the Impossible

Sitting in the chair, Anja walked over to the window.

Dear friends, has your character ever done two things at once that were impossible? Did you even realizing you were making this common mistake? Not to worry, I’m here to set you straight.

The –ing construction is a beautiful thing. It enables us to vary our sentences. That’s a good thing, right? But it’s important to know how to use them probably. Misuse them, and your writing will be weak.

Now sure, the above example could happen . . . if you’re Mr. Bean or tied to the chair, I guess. But I can guarantee the guy who wrote this didn’t mean for it to come off the way it sounded. So always ask yourself, can my character physically do both the actions at the same time? Maybe it would be better if your character did action one first then the second one.

Instead of: Rummaging through my beach bag, I pulled out my book. (I critted a similar sentence once. It requires one hand to rummage while the other pulls out the book.)

Rewrite it: I rummaged through my beach bag, and pulled out my book.

In the above sentence, you can add the comma to give the sense of pausing the sentence while the character rummages through the bag (stylistic use of the comma), or you can skip on it.

The other thing to remember is to make the dependent clause the least important action of the two.

Staring at him, I tried to make sense of his words.

Trying to make sense of his words, I stared at him.

By switching the two actions around, it changes the emphasis of the sentence. The same thing is true if you use ‘as’ instead of the ‘-ing’ contruction.

As I stared at him, I tried to make sense of his words.

Also, don’t forget to set off you dependent clause with a comma.

Incorrect: I stared at him trying to make sense of his words.

Correct: I stared at him, trying to make sense of his words.

If you don’t add the comma, then the –ing verb will be describing the noun before it and not the subject of the sentence. For example:

Several ducks swam near the bull rushes waving in the warm breeze.

The bull rushes are waving, not the ducks.

And finally, make sure you don’t overuse the –ing construction. A little salt is good for flavoring. Too much will lead to hypertension (high blood pressure). And trust me, that’s not a good thing.

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Doing the Impossible + Writing