"What is Love?" Bible Study Week 6: The Memory of a Gnat
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Verse for the week: 1 Corinthians 13:5 (Love is not..) rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
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A few months ago on one of my blogs, we were talking about holding our tongues-- watching what we say. One lady commented that it would be awesome if we had one of those time delay devices like they use for 'live' tv programs (you know, since the Super Bowl 'malfunction' of '04).
We could say something, hear how rude or ugly it really sounded, and hit edit before the other person heard it.
THAT, my friends, would be awesome!!
No harm, no foul.
And no one would have to eat the proverbial crow when they say something stupid.
Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of personal technology. We only have our own flawed selves to edit our words--- and that can cause problems at times (Uh-oh!)
So, what does all of this have to do with anything??? Read on...
This week, we are focusing on 1 Corinthians 13-5. But before we get to that, there are 2 verses from our homework that we really need to learn about so we can discuss 13:5 more productively (that's why we do daily verses, you know ;) )
The first verse is 1 Corinthians 10:24 -- Don't be concerned for your own good, but for the good of others.
What did you get out of that verse?
That verse (in the context of the other verses) is talking about people who don't believe exactly as you do-- and that you shouldn't argue over 'trivial' things. We shouldn't demand or order others to believe exactly like we do. As long as they believe in Jesus and that he is the Savior-- then they are your brothers and sisters--- even if they don't play the kind of music you like at their church.
It doesn't really matter if they believe you have to be baptised--- or color your hair blue-- there is no need to demand they believe like you (like I said, as long as they believe and have accepted Jesus as their Savior). The Bible is your personal relationship with God-- we all read it and get things out of it differently. Churches are all the time dividing because of differing beliefs instead of coming together to win others to Jesus. The Devil is a 'Divide and Conquor' type of dude.
The second verse I want us to look at is Hebrews 10:17-18-- Then He says, "I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds. And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices."
Once we truly and sincerely ask God for forgiveness, He forgives AND forgets the sin, like it never happened-- And He never brings it up again.
Um-- yeah, we aren't like that sometimes.
We *should* be, but we aren't.
Even when you don't mean to ever mention it again, sometimes anger (or foolishness) gets the best of you and the words either slip out OR they pop back up in your mind and you get upset all over again (and in marriages a lot the person doesn't even know why you are mad-- again).
Ok, that brings us to this week's verse (you can review it at the top of this page if you want).
This is going to be another week of "Slap ye ole Kelly upside the head." lol
Last week, we learned 2 things love IS (patient and kind) and 3 things love is NOT (boastful, jealous, and proud).
Today, we are going to add to our list...
*Love is not Rude*
If you go back and look at the scenario at the beginning of this post, you see it deals with being rude-- speaking before you think can result in being/acting very rude.
Notebook Question: Ok, be honest, who are you the most rude to in your life? Why do you think that is the case?
Are you more rude to a stranger or to your own family?
Do you go out of your way to be 'kind' to influential people and get more irritated with people who can help you get ahead?
Look back at your notebook question answer: Who do you get rude to the most?
In my case, it is probably my husband (poor man). I get irritated because he doesn't live up to my idea of 'perfection' (ie he can't read my mind and know exactly what I want-- when I want it--) Lets face it-- that is why we get annoyed with people-- because in some way they haven't lived up to what we expect them to be/do. And that isn't their fault. It's ours because we have unrealistic expectations.
Paul's "True Love" says that even if we are annoyed beyond belief (did he REALLY just dirty another dish RIGHT after I started the dishwasher?!?) we shouldn't be snippy or rude when we confront them.
That. Is. Hard!
Now, that doesn't mean that we can't confront them-- just that we need to be calm when we do.
If someone is annoying us, we have the option of saying something to them. In fact, that is a much better option than letting it fester inside until it turns into anger (a very dangerous emotion).
What is the old saying? You can get more bears with honey. When you are rude or demanding, that automatically puts the other person on the defensive and your words are met on deaf ears-- THEN you have a fight on your hands.
My husband, bless him, has a tendency to walk away when we have arguments. It drives me crazy! *I* have things I need to say--- loudly and with vigor--
It is better to walk away when you are mad like that...
Cool off.
And then talk later when you have cooled off.
We women know that there are certain times when we are more irritable than others (I know I am). it's so easy to use that as an excuse to say "You know what, MAN!? I have PMS. I'm bloated. I feel like heck... I'm going to be as angry as I want to be and you'd better just look out!"
(Can you tell that I *might* have said that once... or twice... in my life ;) )
But that isn't showing love. I guess you kinda are since you are giving fair warning-- but not really. Sometimes we get in those moods when we just want to be mad-- so we are mad--- and then we have to apologizes for it later (Something that is necessary, but not necessarily any fun.). Personally, I don't think crow tastes very good...
Notebook question: In what ways does the one person you are rude with the most push your buttons? How can you deal with it through love (so next time you can have a game plan)
*Love Doesn't Demand its Own Way/Keeps No Record of Being Wronged*
Oh--- how many times have we gotten tired or irritated with someone because we DEMANDED they do something-- but they didn't do it our way?
They are pretty much darned if they do-- darned if they don't. A no win situation for them as it were.
"True love" doesn't demand. It accepts that there are different ways to add 3+2-- or hang a picture-- or fold clothes...
When we finally accept that, we have one less thing to aggravate us (HUZZAH!)
It is not easy, and we aren't going to be perfect at it. But the point of it is that we try.
*and Lastly, it Doesn't Keep Records of Wrongs*
As we learned in Hebrews 10:17-18. God is perfect at this. We-- not so much.
The Devil is awesome at planting or picking at our memories-- bringing the ones we'd rather not remember back to our mind-- making all of those emotions come flooding back.
We need to tell the Devil to leave us alone-- and we need to strive to be more like God.
During 'disagreements' it isn't productive to say things like "You always--" or "you never--". NO ONE 'Always' or 'Never' anything. Those types of generalizations hurt and keep arguments going and even stoke the fire.
In conclusion, if you wouldn't be rude to a stranger, don't be rude to the people closest to you in your life. If someone is truly sorry for something, stop bringing it back up. It is only living in the past and I dare say we have things in the past we aren't proud of either. The world is full of negative people. Lets try to be throw some kindness in there. :) Lets show others by our actions (and our words) that we love them.
Notebook Question: Look back over today's lesson, which area do you feel you are the best at? Which one do you need work on, and how can you do that?
Verses for next week:
Tuesday~ 2 Thessalonians 2:12
Wednesday~ Romans 2:8
Thursday~ James 4:12
Friday~ Romans 14:10
Saturday~ 1 Corinthians 13:6-- It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Have a great week :) Kelly