Have you ever looked at a picture and got shivers at the emotion the image evokes? You then ask your friend or spouse what they think, expecting them to have the same response, but all they do is shrug said say, “It’s okay.”
Before you clobber him (or her) on the head for his obvious lack of artistic appreciation, think about why you responded that way to the picture. Deep down, there was something about it that stirred your emotions.
And that’s exactly what you have to remember when you describe a setting or object in your novel. It’s not enough to just list all the objects in the teenage boy’s bedroom. That’s boring. You want to evoke the reader’s emotions. And that is done through the point of view character. Remember, readers don’t really care about the room. They care about the character.
For example, I could have described the room of the seventeen-year-old character in my novel (who is living with his uncle and aunt) like this:
Paintings of mountain meadows dotted with colorful flowers hang on the walls. The carpet is beige, the furniture antique pine. A vase of silk wildflowers sits on the dresser, flanked by two white taper candles in stubby iron holders. The air smells like spicy vanilla.
The bookshelves are heavy with historical romances. And on the bed is a coffee brown quilt and light blue accent pillows, which are perfectly arranged.
Definitely boring.
Now rewritten from the female protagonist’s point of view:
I follow him upstairs, enter his room, and freeze.
Paintings of mountain meadows dotted with colorful flowers decorate his walls. The beige carpet and antique pine furniture are free of clothes. Instead, a vase of silk wildflowers sits on the dresser, flanked by two white taper candles in stubby iron holders. A spicy vanilla aroma taunts the air, not at all like the fresh ocean-y scent I associate with Aaron.
I walk to the bookshelf on the wall opposite the bed, and run my finger across the cold, glossy spines of the paperbacks.
“Historical Romances?” I try to smother a grin. “Somehow I had you peg more as a Harlequin-type guy.”
“What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”
“So I see,” I say, taking in the rest of the room. Even the coffee brown quilt and light blue accent pillows on his bed are perfectly arranged, yet seem out of place at the same time. It’s as if he hasn’t fully accepted the place as his new home. As if he expects to be booted out at the first hint he’s violated a probationary rule.
See the difference? Instead of a shopping list of items, the reader gets into Calleigh’s head and see’s how she views the room, plus you get more insight into the characters.
Now, try this out with a scene in your wip and see what a difference it makes. (Yep, I’m assigning you homework.)
Next week, I’ll have another post on setting, based on some great advice from the recent SCBWI conference I attended.