Purple Prose + Novel

I feel ashamed...

Could you use $320 in time for Christmas? Click HERE to enter the giveaway!! I'm not going to lie, my heart is hurting right now. I should mention, first about a sweet lady at church by the name of Virginia who needs your prayers. She's in the hospital with a blood clot in her lung. I know your prayers will sure help her and her family. I love that lady! :(

Every 1st Wednesday of the Month

Second (and this is going to sound so petty after that first part), my heart is hurting by something I read today. I read New York Times Bestselling author Rachel Van Dyken's 'formula' for success on Samantha Comb's blog (read it... it's good). It's pretty much what you expect, work hard, write, connect... but her number 1 tip really made me want to cry.
Her number 1 tip is to pray... right when you get up, pray. And don't pray for success. Pray to honor God, how your writing can honor Him, how you have a purpose beside stalking Amazon, etc.
People, I wanted to cry (I still have a lump in my throat). I write Christian fiction. CHRISTIAN fiction...
You'd think I'd pray about it more... yeah... you would! But, I don't. Not the way I'm supposed to. Oh yeah, I pray, "God, please let me sell a book. Please do this... and please do that... Please give me the story you want me to write... " But do I pray every time I sit down and write that it's what HE wants me to write?
I wish I could say yes.
Do I sit down when I edit and pray about every word so it will be what HE wants?
I wish I could say yes.
Am I more into watching Amazon than writing the books and reading my Bible?
Sadly... (you get the idea)
I got/get caught up in all of this. The excitement of having a book out. (and it's very exciting), but it can really hurt at times too. Writers are notorious for being insecure, and I'm right up there. I'm bad to compare my rank/sales to others and honestly I get down sometimes (even though I have a book out and 2 more contracted).
Do you know why I get down? Because I don't trust that God knows what He's doing. My Amazon rank will go up (or down really) when He sees fit. If it doesn't, oh well. The people who are supposed to read it, will. God gives what we can handle, that's with everything... good and bad... success and down times.
SO, what have I learned from Rachel Van Dyken that I should have learned a long time ago? Pray.
I do start off every day in prayers, but it's usually while I'm walking or talking or getting the girls ready. I don't take a lot time for Him like I should. I'm a Christian writer that's missed the mark on the most basic things any writer should do.
With that said, tomorrow is a new day. I feel more excited about this than I have in a long time. My life, worth, self-esteem isn't about any sales number. It's about what I do for God... about that I do what He wants me to do... that I don't make an idiot of myself (in a bad way)... but that I trust Him (in a good way).
Whether I sell one book or one thousand :) I can live with that :)
How about you? Do you know what God wants you to do in life? If so, do you stop there or do you really focus on Him for every aspect of it? Do you pray for yourself or others? Do you stop and pray or just do it when you have time?
Thanks, Rachel, for smacking me upside the head and getting my head out of the figurative clouds :)
~Kelly

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I feel ashamed... + Novel