Purple Prose [Search results for dialogue] 

In the book Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint: techniques and exercises for crafting dynamic characters and effective viewpoints (phew!!!), Nancy Kress explains that there are two basic situations in which a character’s emotions come into existence. The first one is when a character responds to a situation based on his feelings. For example, a six year old might learn that her dog died and starts crying. In the second situation, the character’s behaviour might be contrary to how she’s feeling. So in our example, the six year old might be sad, but instead of crying, she acts indifferent to the news and goes sledding instead.

As writers, our goal is to make the actions of our characters unique and specific to who they are. Just like in real life, no two people react the same way to a given situation. So how do we do that? According to Nancy, our emotions come from our personal histories (backstories), personality and traits, and motivations (why we want something). That’s why we spend time figuring out who our characters are (characterization) before we start writing the first draft (though some writers figures these things out during that draft). This is achieved through interviews, questionnaires, backstories, etc.

To show our character’s emotions to a given situation, we use actions, dialogue, physical reactions (check out the emotion thesaurus on The Bookshelf Muse), thoughts, and imagery. There’s no standard formula telling you how much of each to add. But like sensory descriptions, the more you use, the richer the emotions will be.

The following is an example from Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler (YA contemporary). Sixteen-year-old Anna is still grieving the death of her first love, Matt, who died a year ago. No one knew the two were secretly involved until now. This is part of the scene where Frankie (Matt’s sister and Anna’s best friend) finds Anna’s journal with her letters to dead Matt. I’ve indicated each of the above elements used throughout to show you how Sarah infused her writing with the different ways of revealing emotion:

I clear my throat and find my voice again, stronger this time. (physical reaction) “Give it back, Frankie. You have no right to read it, and you have no right to rip it apart. Give it to me.” (dialogue)

She looks at me with crazed, lost eyes. (physical reaction) “No, I don’t think so.”

I’m desperate. (telling!) “Frankie, please give it back to me. Please. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it’s all I have left of—” (dialogue)

“Anna, he was my brother. Mine. You have no right to have anything left of him!” (dialogue) As the declaration leaves her mouth, she turns her back to me and runs to the shoreline, arching her arm behind her, the rarest-red mermaid tear sparkling in her bracelet like the stone I gave back to the ocean only heartbeats ago. (action)

“Frankie, don’t!” I run toward her, but my legs feel weighted, like I’m stuck in a horrible nightmare. (dialogue, action, imagery, thought) I catch her and snag the bottom of her camisole, knocking her down to the sand. (action)

But the journal is no longer attached to her fingers.

It’s sailing through the air overhead, landing flat on the water with an uninspiring plop.

. . . . I keep swimming toward it, but the current is too strong, pulling on my legs and arms and burning my lungs until I can no longer keep my head above it without fighting. (action) As I kick and yank myself back toward shallower water, the tide moves the journal completely out of reach, encircling it, giving me one last look at the warped pages before it pulls them down to the depths of the ocean.

My heart pounds in a thousand shattered-glass pieces, each beating separately, painfully. (physical reaction, imagery)

I’ve lost him all over again. (thought)

When I get out of the water, I sit down hard on the shore, put my head in my hands, and weep until I don’t have any bones. . . . (action, physical reaction, imagery)

. . . . The ocean has swallowed up my journal.

And it takes all the strength I have left not to dive back in and follow it down, down, deep to the bottom of the sea, lost for all eternity like the broken, banished mermaid. (thought, imagery)

Take an emotionally charged scene from your wip, and see how it compares to the above passage. Have you used as many of these elements as you can? Is your scene lacking the richness of emotions seen here? If so, I hope this post helps. I also highly recommend reading Nancy’s book. It obviously goes into more details than I can here.

<<<3

I'll be taking Friday off like most of the blogging world (even though I'm Canadian and celebrated Thanksgiving last month). I have some serious writing to catch up on, and one of my kids has Friday off school.

Have a great weekend everyone!

How many times have you read a bestselling novel and let it influence your writing, but when your critique partner or an agent sees it . . . well the results aren’t pretty?

There are rules in writing we need to follow to increase our chances of landing an agent or being published. Some rules are flexible enough to allow us to bend them for creative purposes. Other rules are rigid. Try to bend them and disaster will befall you.

The trick is knowing which rules can be successfully broken. However, bestselling authors aren’t necessarily the ones to shows which rules they are. These writers have more leeway than the rest of us.

Examples: (These are from a few of my favorite YA authors.)

Flashbacks

Because flashbacks pretty much stop the action of the story, you want to be careful with them. Keep them as short as possible, and only use them when necessary.

Sarah Dessen uses flashbacks a lot in her novels, but instead of the main character flashing back to a time before the start of the book, she flashes back to an event that took place between the last scene and the current one.

I tried that and was told if the event in the flashback was that important, then I needed to write it as a scene. Great advice. Sarah’s allowed to do it her way. We aren’t.

Dialogue

One of the most common pieces of advice says don’t start chapter one with dialogue since the reader hasn’t had a chance yet to visualize the scene because of the lack of context.

Same advice should apply to individual chapters, unless it’s starts off where the last one ended. I’m a fan of Alyson Noel’s Immortal Series, but she has, on occasion, left the reader in suspense because she starts the chapter off with dialogue, but doesn’t tell the reader which character said it. Sometimes it’s take you the whole page to figure out who said it. This is false suspense, and it's annoying. The reader needed to know who said it so she can visualize the scene. Of course, this hasn't stopped Alyson from selling books. And it hasn't stopped me from buying them.

Gerunds

We know we’re not supposed to overuse –ing verbs and the passive “as” such as in this sentence:

I take long, slow breaths, reminding myself there’re thousands of psychos on the streets. (From my novel, Still.)

They’re fine, as long as you don’t abuse them.

Alyson Noel has made it part of her style to use tons of sentences such as:

Leaving me to stand there, jaw dropped to my knees, as both doors spring open and sweep him inside before I can blink. (Dark Flame)

She can get away with that. We can’t.

Echoes

A few weeks ago, I blogged about repetitive words, phrases, or concepts that often appear in our manuscripts until a crit partner points them out. Some readers might not notice them. Others might be ready to hurl your book (which happens to be on their computer) across the room if they read the phrase one more time.

I read a book by a bestselling author (who shall remain nameless) in which not only was the phrase abused an estimated 150 times (sometimes twice on the same page), but it was the clichéd eye rolling. Seriously, I’m surprised the main character’s eyes didn’t get stuck due to all the eye rolling that happened.

Adverbs Galore

Too many adverbs and adjectives are the kiss of death, especially when overused in dialogue tags. Of course, if you’re J.K. Rowling, this rule doesn’t apply to you. But for the rest of us, don’t do it!

So what do you think? Should we take risks like these bestselling authors, or should we play it safe? And without giving away names, do you have any examples of rules you’ve seen broken by a bestselling author, which would be a big no-no if we tried it?

Edited: I should add that Lisa McMann (Wake trilogy) broke many rules in her debut novel, and it seriously rocked. So, there's something to think about.

One of the most common reasons for rejecting a manuscript is when the agent or editor can’t connect with the main character. Sometimes this is subjective; other times it’s not.

First you need a multi-dimensional, sympathetic character. Next you need to examine your Motivation Reaction Units (MRU)*. A Motivation can be an action, dialogue, or description that leads your character to react. For example, if you are walking toward your house and it explodes, the exploding house is the Motivation. The Reaction is what YOU do in response.

The intensity of Reaction needs to match the intensity of the Motivation. If your house explodes, you’ll likely react with more than a mere shrug. If the Motivation is small and the Reaction is over the top, then you’ve got an issue with melodrama.

Reaction can be action, dialogue, visceral reactions (e.g. heart rate), and/or inner dialogue. Visceral reactions (the body’s response that you can’t control) ALWAYS come first. The rest is up to you and your genre. But if you’re finding you are getting rejections because agents aren’t connecting with your character, you might want to examine your inner dialogue. It might not be enough. Remember, though, it needs to move the plot forward, not force it to sit still while your character contemplates the non-relevant.

Read the following three version of the opening from City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare:

Version with no inner thoughts

“Just coffee, please.” (Reaction: the waitress had presumably asked Simon what he wanted to order before the opening of the book)

The waitress raised her penciled eyebrows. “You don’t want anything to eat?” she asked. Her accent was thick, her attitude disappointed. (Motivation)

“Just the coffee.” (Reaction)

With a shrug the waitress took his laminated menu and went to put his order in. (Motivation)

Version with most of the inner thoughts deleted

“Just coffee, please.” (Reaction)

The waitress raised her penciled eyebrows. “You don’t want anything to eat?” she asked. Her accent was thick, her attitude disappointed. (Motivation)

Simon Lewis couldn’t blame her; she’d probably been hoping for a better tip than the one she was going to get on a single cup of coffee. “Just the coffee.” (Reaction)

With a shrug the waitress took his laminated menu and went to put his order in. (Motivation)

Version from the novel

“Just coffee, please.” (Reaction)

The waitress raised her penciled eyebrows. “You don’t want anything to eat?” she asked. Her accent was thick, her attitude disappointed. (Motivation)

Simon Lewis couldn’t blame her; she’d probably been hoping for a better tip than the one she was going to get on a single cup of coffee. But it wasn’t his fault vampires didn’t eat. Sometimes, in restaurants, he ordered food anyway, just to preserve the appearance of normalcy, but late Tuesday night, when Veselka was almost empty of other customers, it didn’t seem worth the bother. “Just the coffee.” (Reaction)

With a shrug the waitress took his laminated menu and went to put his order in. (Motivation)

Do you see the difference? Which gives you a better feel for who Simon is?

HOMEWORK

• Copy a scene from a story in the genre you write (preferably a book you love/admire) and highlight the inner thoughts. Do they move the story forward? Do they give you insight into the character and her goals? What do you like about them? What don’t you like? Compare them to your writing.

• Take a scene from your story and analyze each Motivation and subsequent Reaction. Is the reaction enough? Can you expand on it by combining more than one element (e.g. action and inner thought)? What is your character thinking after the Motivation? Would it help your reader connect with your character if you wrote it down? (Write it down. You can go back later and trim if need be.) You’ll be surprise just how much you can strengthen the characterization by doing this exercise. Better yet, do it for the entire novel. Yes, it takes time, but it’s worth it if readers are struggling to connect with your character.

I’ve almost finished week #2 of my YA writer’s workshop, so I thought I’d share with you some of the stuff I’ve learned so far. I’ll admit most of what I’ve studied isn’t new to me. I’ve already read a zabillion books on writing. But sometimes it’s nice to get a little reminder or two of the important stuff to pay attention to.

For obvious reasons, I’m not going to print off the lecture notes. I will, though, share a few things I’ve noticed while critting my classmates’ assignments, plus include some important stuff covered in the course. Last week the focus was on POV. This week it’s dialogue.

1. What your character doesn’t say is as important as what they do say. This is known as subtext, and a whole chapter is dedicated to the topic in one of my favorite books on writing: Getting Into Character by Brandilyn Collins.

2. Make sure you know proper dialogue mechanics . . . unless you want an agent to reject your novel based on the first page. There’re a lot of books on writing dialogue, and they all cover this important topic. Please don’t fudge it. These are the rules you can’t ignore.

3. Please pay attention to your character’s point of view. One of the assignments I critted had the main character jump into another character’s head. Sorry you can’t do that--unless it’s a paranormal novel. Another writer was also confused by POV. She asked me, since the main character’s mom’s name is Bonnie Tyler (not the real name), if she can alternate between Bonnie and Mrs Tyler in the narration. The answer is no. Because the POV character’s a teen, she would refer to Mrs Tyler as either ‘her mom’ or ‘Alyson’s mom’ (the novel is in third person) in the narration. There are, of course, exceptions to this.

If you find yourself struggling with POV, check out The Power of Point of View: Make Your Story Come to Life by Alicia Rasley.

4. Skip on the clichéd characters. Slush piles are already loaded with tons of them. I critted one assignment in which the secondary character was the geeky team manager of the high school basketball team. And guess what? He was bullied by the jocks. Yawn. Not. Original. Fortunately, there are ways for writer to improve the characterization and strengthen the story.

In case you’re wondering, no I haven’t made any of these mistakes. Have I received tons of feedback to make my novel better? Uh . . . well . . . no. From my classmates’ perspective, I handed in another kick-ass assignment. My instructor’s comments made me realize the drawbacks to the course. She doesn’t know what happened in the preceding chapters, so what she perceives might be a problem, isn’t. There are things at stake in the scene. My main character does have a motive. And both the characters have opposing scene objectives (okay, the instructor didn’t bring up this point, but it's in my favorite book on writing).

Regardless of these drawbacks, I’m happy with the feedback in the workshop. And at least I know my teen dialogue is authentic. Believe me, that’s a huge deal. Plus I'm editing those excerpt of my novel like crazy, and focusing on my "issue." That in itself is worth it.

I hope that helps. Next week’s lesson is on writing YA emotions. And we know what a roller coaster ride that can be.

Are you, dear friend, frustrated with those pesky commas like me? Has one of your crit partners added or removed a bunch of commas, only for another person to switch half of them back again?

Well, dear friend, I’ve got the post for you. I’ve consulted The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Grammar and Style (idiot, that’s me!) and Noah Lukeman’s A Dash of Style to bring you the answers you seek. So grab your beverage of choice (mine being Diet Coke) and some chocolate (believe me, you’re going to need it), and let’s get started.

1. Use a comma after an introductory expression or before a concluding one. What’s an expression? Well, it can be a:

• Prepositional phrase:

Before I could react, Liam jammed his tall footballer body between me and Aaron, forcing Aaron off my towel.

• Participial phrase:

Dressed in swim trunks, he was looking at me with unsettled eyes, his mouth set in a bleak line.

• Dependent clause:

Contrary to Alejandra’s hints, dating was definitely not part of my plans for the summer.

2. Use a comma to set off words and expressions that otherwise interrupt the sentence.

Ryan suspected it was at the very least sprained, and reminded me, once again, to have it checked out by a physician.

3. When your character is talking to someone, and they use the individual’s name, separate the name from the rest of the words in the sentence with a comma.

“Calleigh, you did mention it, didn't you?”

4. Words that give additional info about the noun should be separated by a comma.

The Evil Trio plus one, all wearing bikini tops, miniskirts, and doused in an overly sweet perfume, approached us on their way to the mall entrance, and not so subtly checked Aaron out.

5. Commas are used to separate words in a series. That’s an easy one, right?

I could feel everyone watching me, waiting, analyzing my hesitation.

6. Do you have a clause that can be deleted without changing the sentence’s meaning? Then separate it from the rest of the sentence with our friend the comma. If you delete the clause and the meaning of the sentence changes, then please skip on those commas.

Only Erik was wearing eye makeup, but unlike Taylor, who had a ring through his lower lip and a ring and stud above his right eyebrow, Erik had no facial piercings.

7. Is your sentence complex? Commas will help keep it from being confusing. Confuse the agent or editor, and it’s rejection ville for you, my friend. Remember to use commas before coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet).

8. In dialogue, use a comma to separate ‘said’ from a gerund or when describing the voice. Also, study the punctuation in these two dialogue. I’ve seen some wacky uses of the comma and period when a writer has written dialogue with a tag.

“You know, I really am a good listener,” he said, unfolding himself to his full height, “if you just give me the chance.”

“Well, I’ll keep that I’m mind next time I experience an urge to attend confession,” I said, my tone still terse.

Yes, the comma is a beautiful thing. What? You don’t believe me yet? Well, here’s some wonderful things it can do for you. Thanks, Mr. Lukeman, for enlightening us.

1. The comma can link short sentences together to form a longer one. This enables variation in your sentence lengths. Pretty cool, huh?

2. It helps your reader from getting confused. We’ve all read those sentences in the works we critted or beta read in which you’re left scratching your head, unsure what the writer really meant.

Read these two sentences out loud:

When I woke up my pillow was damp from tears.

When I woke up, my pillow was damp from tears.

3. It allows your reader a chance to breathe (even if she’s reading it in her head). This is why reading your manuscript out loud is a great idea. Did you write a long sentence that leaves you gasping for air? Time to add some commas. However, if your character is suffering from out of control thoughts, skipping on the commas is a perfect way of showing this.

Standing under the steamy stream of water, I scrubbed my skin raw, desperate to remove the stench of his aftershave and everything else about him off me.

Standing under the steamy stream of water I scrubbed my skin raw desperate to remove the stench of his aftershave and everything else about him off me.

4. A comma shows the passage of time. I love this one.

Kevin poured some orange paint into the pan, and handed it to Shaelyn.

This sentence pauses for a moment while Kevin pours the paint into the container, and then resumes again once he’s ready to hand it to Shaelyn.

5. The brilliant comma allows you to cut out words. Of course, if you’re writing a 250,000-word epic fantasy, you might want to avoid this use of the comma.

I whirled round in time to see a man emerge from the trees, his features obscured in the shadows.

Without the comma, the sentence would be rewritten like this:

I whirled round in time to see a man emerge from the trees. His features were obscured in the shadows.

Now there one more thing I want to add. Unlike the other forms of punctuation—you know, the period, colon, semi-colon, etc—the comma is a flexible friend (apparently he took gymnastics as a kid). Which means you have a lots of options as to how to use it stylistically (at least according to Mr. Lukeman). And what does that mean? Well, like everything else in publishing . . . it’s all very subjective. Grrr!

Last year, I reviewed the free version of SmartEdit and loved it. The creators recently asked me if I would test the new version (which isn’t free). In exchange for an honest review, I was provided a copy of the software.

PROS

• One of my favorite parts about SmartEdit is the list it generates from your manuscript. It lets you know which words and phrases you use repeatedly. This helps you identify those annoying crutch words and phrases that you might not realize you’re using. And after you’ve gone through your manuscript to correct for this, you can rerun the program to see if you’ve created a new list of crutch words. This is quicker and easier than figuring out your crutch words and using FIND and REPLACE in Word.

• SmartEdit not only lists the repeated words, you can click on the word (or phrase, depending on what you’re analyzing) to see the sentences you used it in. You can then edit those sentences that you wish to change directly in SmartEdit (or go back and make the changes in your word processing software).

• The program generates a list of potentially misspelled or misused words so that you can ensure you used the word correctly (e.g. breath and breathe), or didn’t accidentally misspell it.

• You can quickly check to see if you overused profanity (or a specific swear word), or if you accidentally used profanity when you didn’t want it in the story.

• You can analyze your sentence lengths. The results are shown in a chart. If you have an excessive number of sentences at the high end of the scale (e.g. thirty or more words), you might want to consider rewriting some of these sentences.

• You can analyze dialogue tags to ensure you aren’t abusing non-said tags.

• Another of my favorite features is the feedback SmartEdit provides on the beginning of your sentences. It’s a great way to see if you abuse certain words (e.g. ‘but’ and ‘and’).

• SmartEdit shows you when you’ve used too many spaces between words. A life saver for your eyes.

• There is a short video to show you how to use the software. I recommend watching it, but I know where are some people who are more hands on when it comes to learning a new program.

• If you use foreign phrases or non-English phrases (fantasy anyone?), the program will list them so you can double check that you’ve used them correctly. In the case of non-English phrases created for fantasy, it helps to ensure you’re consistent in their use (or spelling).

CONS

• Unlike other editing programs, Smartedit doesn’t tell you how to fix the issue. This enables you to have full creative control of your writing. Personally, I don’t think this is a disadvantage to the program, but it depends on what you’re looking for.

• Sorry Mac users (which now includes me), the program is currently only available for PCs.

• The program analyzes dialogue tags, but they are only available in past tense. I tend to writing novels in present tense, which means this feature has limited value for me. If I want to analyze them, I have to list the words under custom settings. This requires me knowing what dialogue tags I tend to use. The other issue is that you can’t save the list of words you compile under custom settings for future use.

Overall, I love SmartEdit. It’s the perfect program to help your polish your manuscript. It will definitely be part of my editing process.

Do you use any software programs designed for writers? Are there any you can’t live without? *

*I’m also a Scrivener girl.

When revising, do you find yourself too immersed in your story? Well, I’ve got the perfect game for you that will help you spot the problems on the page you might not otherwise notice.

RULES:

1. Print off the pages you want to do a more in-depth edit to. It could be a chapter, a few chapters, or the entire book.

2. Toss the pages in the air (or spread them randomly on the floor if bent pages freak you out). Make sure they’re all facing down.

3. Grab a page.

4. Read through it, and mark each line that contains tension (I use a T in the margin). Ideally you want at least one line (but more is better) per page with tension. If you don’t, go through it and increase the tension through dialogue, unanswered questions, action, exposition. That is what’s going to keep your readers turning the pages.

5. Find paragraphs that are begging for more description or emotion (or both). Can the action be improved on? You might not have noticed it before, but now the weaknesses are easy to spot.

6. Is there enough white space? Not enough and your reader’s eyes will glaze over. This can be easily fixed by adding dialogue and breaking up your paragraphs (and trimming them if necessary).

7. Is your dialogue suffering from the talking head syndrome? Add some physical beats to ground your readers and characters in the scene.

8. Did you spot those typos and awkward sentences often missed when you read the pages in order?

9. How’s the pacing?

10. Read the page out aloud and see what else you can find that irritates the hell out of you.

11. Either edit the page now on the computer or save it until you’ve finished marking up all the pages.

13. Pick the next page off the floor. If it’s too close to the one you just edited (I’m referring to page number here), then put it back and randomly select another one.

14. Repeat steps #4 to 13 until you’ve finished all the pages.

THE WINNER:

You, of course. Now you’re one step closer to having an awesome manuscript.

Any other suggests as to what else to look out for when using this technique?

I have only three words for you: The Hex Boys.

I recently read Demons at Deadnight by Alyssa and Eileen Kirk. The best part about the book (which is great, btw) were the six hot teenage guys. But it wasn’t their hot bods that made me fall in love with them, it was their banter. They cracked me up every time. So, for part of the Demons at Deadnight blog tour, Alyssa and Eileen wrote a guest post (at my begging) on writing awesome banter. They’ve also included tips on writing dialogue based on gender differences.

Make sure you check out the end of the post for information about their giveaway. I have one of the secret words you’ll need for a chance to win a Kindle Fire. Plus, I’m giving away a copy (paperback or ebook) of their novel Demons at Deadnight. If you want to be entered for the book giveaway, let me know in the comments and include your email address. It’s open internationally. The giveaway will close Wednesday, February 15^th at 11:59 pm EST.

<<<3

One thing we haven’t a shortage of in Demons at Deadnight is banter. We adore it. Dialog is a great way to show rather than tell who your character is. And with six hot male leads—that’s right, six—we use their dialog, word choice, sentence structure, and speech pattern to establish and distinguish character, as well as deliver necessary information.

Context plays a big part in how the dialog works but we’ve tried to provide examples that are still effective without a lot of knowledge of the rest of the story. Here, the Hex Boys are in the midst of discussing the organization they work for.

***
“Wait. Who’s she again?” Blake said.

Matthias sighed. “Don’t you ever pay attention? She heads up the Divinicus task force.”
Blake looked blank.

“Sophina Cacciatori.” Matthias continued. “She taught some conferences in Europe?”

Logan spoke up. “You described her as the curvy, hot, Italian brunette with—”

“Great legs!” Blake finished with a broad grin.

***
Hopefully you learned:

- Sophina Cacciatori: A big deal in a worldwide organization and so important Blake should know her name instantly.

- Matthias: finds Blake’s cavalier attitude and lack of knowledge irritating. Is more serious and responsible. Has a hard time relating to Blake.

- Blake: Playful. Unconcerned with the administrative aspects of their job. Bit of a horn dog.

- Logan: Informed. Great listener. Knows Blake inside and out.

Characters with fundamental differences create conflict which is always fun. Use the moment to reveal information about your character and information relevant to the plot.

Here, Aurora is just coming out of unconsciousness and since it’s first person, what she’s thinking is actually part of the banter.

***
“How’s that my fault?” Matthias said.

“You’re the only one mean enough to make her think we’re kidnappers and killers.” I’d never heard Logan so passionate.

“We are killers,” Matthias said.

Bad news.

“Not girls. We don’t kill girls.”

Good news.

“She’s no girl.”

Insulting news?

“What? Of course she’s a girl.”

“Want me to check?”

“Shut up, Blake,” the rest of them chorused.

***
The short version? Matthias = jerk. Logan = protective, gentleman. And even though they work for the same organization, they see their roles very differently. Then Blake = girl crazy and the rest of the boys, all too familiar with his antics, shut him down.

Gender Differences in Dialogue

Here’s a great tip from the many conferences we’ve been to. In terms of gender, guys tend to speak concise. To the point. Concentrate on facts. Lack of extraneous verbiage. Shorter sentences.

Girls, on the other hand, like to use more words, and construct longer sentences which contain supplementary descriptive prose and express a vivid interpretation of their feelings and emotions, their experiences and the environment surrounding them.

See the difference? So after you’ve written a guy’s dialog, go back and cut. And cut again.

However, we have a Hex Boy who is extremely verbose. Why? Because his character is…not mainstream. He’s an oddball. Not your typical guy, so it works.

The same information will be delivered differently by each character, so when you have something you need to say to move the plot along, pick the character who’s going to express it in the most riveting manner.
And if the character is conflicted about the information they have to verbalize, all the better. For example, the shy one has to talk about sexuality, or the cynical one has to talk about love. You get the idea.

Make every word count, have fun, and bottom line, know your character inside and out, then let them do the talking!

Stina, thanks so much for having us today. It’s always a pleasure to dialog with you!

<<<3

Kindle Fire Giveaway Info

To enter to win the Kindle Fire you need to know the secret phrase given out one word at a time by each blog tour host. Put the words together in sequential order and you'll eventually have the secret phrase! Right now you can Tweet and Follow on the AEKIRK Blog Tour Page to get points but starting March 9 (at the end of the tour) you can enter the complete phrase on the AEKIRK Blog Tour Page and earn BIG entry points! Your Kindle Fire will also include your choice of a DEMONS AT DEADNIGHT Skin. Either from the cover, or a Hex Boy group shot or individual "Team" skin of your favorite Hex Hunk!

The secret word from my blog is: ADDICTIVE (Yes, those Hex Boys are very addictive)

To view the entire list of blogs on this tour, click the banner at the top of the post!

(I didn't take this photo.)
Are you ready to get your butt ready for bikini season manuscript in peak shape for querying?

Are you ready to sweat and feel the burn?

Then I have the workout for you. It’s guaranteed* to whip your butt manuscript into shape and leave agents drooling. And a drooling agent = The Call.

First, you’re going to need some equipment:

• Donald Maass’s Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook. You don’t have a copy, you say? Then stay tune. It will be one of the prizes in my upcoming contest to celebrate reaching 500 + followers. (note: if you don’t want to bother with the workbook (though I highly recommend it), you can still do some of the workout. Adjust accordingly).

Workout

Warm up:

1. Characterizations

2. Outline

Some people (also known as pansters) prefer to skip the warm up. I’m not going to make you do twenty push-ups if you do. Just remember, you may need to do more work to get your manuscript into shape compared to the outliners.

Donald Maass’s workbook has some great exercises to do for the warm up (found under Character Development and Plot Development). However, I did them after I finished the first draft of my current WIP. With my next project, I’ll do them during my preplanning, to make sure my characterizations and outline are properly warmed up before I start my first draft.

Light Aerobic Exercise:

1. Write your first draft. I don’t care if you speed through it or if your internal editor is peeking over your shoulder (like mine). Just do it!

2. Read through your manuscript and write notes about things you want to fix (like inconsistencies) or things you’re questioning. Go back and deal with them now if necessary.

Intense Aerobic Exercise:

1. Go through your WIP using the exercises in Donald’s workbook under the section Character Development. With my WIP, I went through the entire manuscript doing this step.

2. Go through the remainder of the workbook (Plot Development and General Story Techniques), completing as many of the exercise as you can. Some will have to wait until you analyze the WIP at the scene level (next step).

3. Now we’re going to do interval training. Divide your WIP into chunks, each containing about three chapters (depending on the length of the chapters). Why? Because after each chunk has gone through the interval training, it’s send off to your CPs. Of course, you don’t have to do it this way. But this is how I did it.

a. Go through each scene doing the exercises in the workbook (under Plot Development and General Story Techniques). Not all exercises will be necessary for each scene. Only you can decide which ones apply to a given scene.

b. After editing the scene according to the above step, do a dialogue pass. I talked about this last week on my Query Tracker Blog post (Strengthening Dialogue).

c. The final step is to Toss The Pages. Okay, I don’t actually toss anything. I randomly select the pages. But the main point is I don’t edit these pages sequentially. This enables me to focus on the writing and not on the story. I also use the RWA handouts list under ‘equipment’ during this part. Doing it this way helps me deepen the layers of the story (setting, emotion, etc). Check out the handout, From First Draft to Final Manuscript, and you’ll see what I mean. Really push yourself on this step. Don’t gloss over it, thinking the page is fine. I bet you can make it better.

d. Continue the above three steps then read through the chunk of chapters you were working on and edit if necessary.

e. Send to CPs (optional but recommended). Edit based on their suggestions.

f. Repeat steps a-e for next chunk of the WIP.

Cool Down

1. Once finished—and after you’ve given it some distance—read through your manuscript and deal with any areas you feel could be further improved on (like pacing).

2. Send to beta readers. Edit as needed.

Celebration

(I didn't take this either)

Yay! You are now ready to query. Just make sure you’ve put your query and synopsis through their own intensive workout.

Good luck!

Any other suggestions? How do you usually edit?

* Fine Print:
1. I’m using this workout with my current WIP, so I don’t actually know if it will work when it comes to querying it. But it has made MAJOR improvements in my manuscript, hence why I’m sold on it. Of course, both the writing and a unique concept are important too. This workout won’t help you there. Sorry.
2. I lied about it being a twenty-minute workout. But it got you to look, didn’t it? ;)

©Stina Lindenblatt

Monday, I posted on how universal theme and the character wound builds emotion in your story. Today, I want to focus on two other ways to develop emotional power in your story.

Showing verses Telling

The first thing you want to avoid when writing emotion is telling.

“Go away,” he said angrily.

In the above sentence, the writer is telling the reader that the character is angry. We don’t get to experience his anger. You can switch ‘said angrily’ for yelled, but there’s a stronger way to show emotion.

He gripped the ends of the armrests and took a long, slow breath. “Go. Away.” The two simple words, meaningless on their own, held a dangerous edge when spoken without his usual warmth. He could only hope that Lydia was smart enough to understand what he was really telling her. She was a b**** and a traitor, and he would rather spend eternity in hell than spend another minute listening to her heartbreaking lies.

In the first example, you learn nothing about the character. By showing the emotion through action, dialogue, inner thoughts, visceral reaction, setting (more about this in a moment), you reveal characterization. One character might scream and hurl breakable objects at the wall when he is angry. Another character might speak in a calm yet deadly tone, and reveal his anger through body language, like in the second example. Same emotion. Two different ways to show it.

Go Deep

Words are powerful, but only if you pick the right ones. Use words in an unexpected way to add emotion to the sentence. These are typically your theme words or scene-related ones (i.e. if your scene deals with death, your power words would be related to death). For example, ‘He watched the light bleed slowly out of day . . . . ‘ (Whispers by Dean Koontz). Notice the difference, emotion wise, between that and ‘He watched the daylight fade . . . .’ The former sentence was created to give you the shivers. Try this trick to add dimension and emotion to your setting.

Use words to show a shift in emotion and mood in the scene. The scene could start off with words like ‘skip, sunshine, rose-scented’, but as the mood and emotion change, you weave in words like ‘trudge, stench of rotting corpses, spiraling down’. For the most impact, figure out what emotions you want to show in the scene, brainstorm verbs and nouns that best convey them, then slip them in as needed. This is a great way to add imagery to your writing.

Study Study Study

The best way to learn how to put emotion in your story is to study your favorite novels (or short stories, if you write them). Pick ones similar to what you want to write. For example, if you want to write a tear jerker, then that’s what you should study. Rip them apart and examine how the author approached the above elements. Then apply what you learned to your WIP. I’ll be talking more about analyzing stories in an upcoming post.

Do you make sure that your story is rich with emotion before you write the first draft and while editing?

(note: I’ve posted part one and two today on the Querytracker blog).

©Stina Lindenblatt

With NaNoWriMo starting next week, I thought I’d pull out some quotes from my pile of writing craft books to help get you ready. Today, I’m focusing on character backstory.

A character flaw is a coping mechanism that arises from the loss of an original state of perfection that occurred in the character’s backstory. Her flaw is designed to compensate for a perceived vulnerability, sense of insecurity, and feeling threatened. No matter how confident, every major character demonstrates lessons learned from the wound inflicted in her backstory that is now lodged in her core belief system.

The Plot Whisperer: Secrets of Story Structure Any Writer Can Master by Martha Alderson

Backstory is just that—everything that happened before the story began—and is such it is the raw material from which all flashbacks are drawn. So what’s the difference between a flashback and waving in backstory? It’s simple. A flashback, being an actual scene complete with dialogue and action, stops the main storyline; weaving in backstory doesn’t. Backstory is, in fact, part of the present.

Neatly woven in, backstory is a mere snippet, a fragment of memory, or even an attitude born of something that happened in the past and runs through the protagonist’s mind as he experiences, and evaluates, what is happening to him in the present.

Wired For Story: The Writer’s Guide to Using Brain Science to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence by Lisa Cron

Now, I want you to think about your backstory, the series of events that led up to your goals and dilemmas. Think about the TV series Lostand how it weaves in moments of backstory that affect present decisions. What are the moments leading to your pivotal life decisions? This will help you when you think about the backstory of the characters in your writing.

Story Line: Finding Gold in Your Life Story by Jen Grisanti

Do you put a lot of time into figuring out your characters’ backstories before writing the first draft?

When creating your characters, consider their humor. I’m not talking about their sense of humor. I’m referring to the concept Hippocrates (the father of medicine) came up with. He claimed the humor was responsible for each person’s typical mood. In Breathing Life into Your Characters, Rachel Ballon described these moods as temperaments and each temperament is made up of various traits. The four temperaments are:

Sanugine (cheerful and optimistic)

source

Melancholic (depressed)

source

Choleric (too aggressive and impulsive)

source unknown

Phlegmatic (Cold-hearted)

source

For a complete list of traits for each temperament, check out this brilliant post by Misha Gericke (it’s the same one from Cool Links last Friday).

Depending on the situation, a different combination of traits will be expressed. This reveals characterization. If you know your characters’ temperaments and traits, it will make writing the scene so much easier. And when you pit two characters together with contrasting temperaments, you create conflict.

Here’s an exercise you can try when creating characters (main and secondary):

1. Select several characters from the story and assign each a temperament and several traits.

2. Come up with an idea for a scene. It doesn’t have to be from your story, but do keep to something similar to what you would find in your book. For example, if you’re writing YA contemporary and your characters’ lives are never at risk, you might not want to do this exercise with a life of death situation. Or maybe you do.

3. Now write the scene, but write it from each character’s point of view. No, I don’t mean you can go head hoping. If you have three characters, write the scene three times, each time from a different character’s point of view. (Hint: Identify the Goal, Motivation, and Conflict for each character first).

Not only will you get to know your characters better, and how they would deal with a situation similar to what’s in your story, it will help you develop each character’s voice for their dialogue. If you’re having trouble getting the emotion right in a scene, you can always try this exercise, too. It will help put you in the secondary character’s head.

(Note: this exercise isn’t the same one in Rachel’s book. Her exercise inspired this one.)

When creating your characters, have you consider their temperaments?

As I pointed out yesterday, one of the things I loved about Perfect Chemistry and Rules of Attraction is how Simone Elkeles used Mexican slangs in the dialogue and inner thoughts.

Because my main character’s best friend is Mexican, I decided to do the same thing as Simone, but not quite to the same degree. For starters, the Spanish used in Perfect Chemistry was predominantly swearing, words that would leave your grandmother blushing, or terms of endearment. Instead, I decided to use only a few words and phrases. Plus, the best friend is only in a handful of scenes.

When you use foreign slangs, you have to be careful. You can’t take a dictionary and translate your English phrase word for word into the other language. You might be creating a sentence that means something different to what you intended. And the results might be very embarrassing.

My two youngest kids are in a Spanish bilingual program at school. I asked my daughter’s kindergartner teacher about some of the phrases I used, to make sure they were correct. One I especially wanted to know was ‘Está muy caliente’, which in English translates to ‘he’s very hot’. Or does it?

My daughter’s teacher said I could use the term, so I was surprised when I read the following in Rules of Attraction by Simone Elkeles:

She flashes me a sexy smile and leans closer. “Estás muy caliente.” I think she just called me hot. That’s not the way we say it in Meh-hee-co, but I get the idea.

Whoa, I thought. Then what does it mean? I spent the next hour, online, pouring through idioms to find out what it meant in Mexico. Okay, so here’s the part where I used the phrase in my novel. The italicized phrase is the proper translation of it

“You should definitely give Aaron a chance. He’s cute. Very horny.” She started counting his attributes on her fingers.

Yep, you can stop laughing now. That’s definitely not what my character wanted to say.

So, when you want to add foreign slangs in your story, make sure you check out a foreign slang dictionary specific to the country your character is from. Remember, idioms used in England can be very different to those used in Canada or the US. The same is true for Spanish idioms spoken in Mexico compared to those spoken in Spain. Also, any time you use a foreign language in your story (whether it’s a word or a phrase), it’s italicized.

Has anyone else used foreign slangs in their stories? Hopefully you didn’t make the same mistake as me.

As writers, we spent a lot of time getting to know our characters. Between the characterization questionnaires and revisions, we know everything about them, or at least we should. If you don’t, then I suggest you check out this post.

Maybe there’s one character that embodies aspects you want in a mate (aka boyfriend/husband), and before you know it, you’re crushing on that individual. You dream about the character. Fantasize about him while you work. Create, in your head while exercising, witty dialogue between him and another character.

Has this happened to you, or am I just weird?

Now, what happens if you are a YA writer? You’re in your twenties, thirties, or forties, and he’s only seventeen. I recently read an interview with Maggie Stiefvater on Sherrie Petersen’s blog. She wouldn’t fall in love with her teenage male characters for several reasons, including, “. . . most of them are underage, so it would be jailbait.”

True enough, if you were crushing on a real teenager. But is this true for fiction?

I think not.

When I write, I become my seventeen-year-old main character. It helps me make her emotions real. I’m not forty, anymore. It’s my seventeen-year-old self who’s crushing on the hot character. My forty-year-old self is in love with my forty-year-old (and utterly sexy) husband. See? There’s a huge difference.

So what do you think. Is it okay to crush on a character, especially if you write YA? And have you fallen in love any characters, whether it’s one from your novel or from someone else’s?

The final installment of 'How I Find Time to Write' is written by the wonderful Zanna Mackenzie! I'm so excited to have her tell you the tricks she uses to write her novels. She also has some excerpts from her new book How Do You Spell Love?

~*~*~*~

Finding the time to escape into whatever book you’re currently writing can be a tricky business for an author. I’m fortunate in being self-employed, though contracted to work a set amount of hours per week I have plenty of flexibility re when I do work those hours. My day job is also writing related – another plus – as I’m the editor of some business publications for a chamber of commerce. I work from home too, which I love and which saves me having to spend time doing lengthy commutes each day – another positive!
I’ve recently had two novels published by different publishers within the space of a month and have quickly discovered that all of the required promotional activity and social media ‘presence’ is very time consuming, far more than I had anticipated.
All of which means finding the time to edit my next book (I’ve recently completed the first draft of it) and working on the scenes/plot/characters of the book I have outlined for after that is becoming more and more of a challenge.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to have my work published and relish learning all about the promotional aspects of being an author, but as my writing time has now been squeezed considerably I’m having to be more creative about finding time to write and my solution is – write in bed!!
My husband is one of those people who is always awake at about 5am and gets up to do the ‘early morning shift’ in our household - so I have a notebook by the bed and let my mind start working on scenes and dialogue as soon as I wake up and then I start writing them all up ready to be typed onto the computer in the appropriate slot in the working manuscript document whenever I get chance.
I’ve found that I prefer writing in this way rather than sitting in front of the computer and writing straight onto it whilst in ‘the creative zone’.
As the ‘boss’ at my day job doesn’t work on Fridays I try as much as I can to make Fridays my writing day – providing I don’t have design or proof reading deadlines for the business publications – and aim to keep promotion and social media to a minimum then as well so that I can get typing up all those scene notes.
I currently have about 50 pages of notes to type up though – so this plan doesn’t always work!

Many thanks for hosting me on your blog today Kelly!
My latest novel, published by Crooked Cat, is called How Do You Spell Love? Here’s the details:

Make A Wish…
Kat can’t help wishing there was more to life than this. What happened to her dream job? What happened with Nathan?
Summer is wondering where her life is going too… battling the developers of a controversial housing estate and working out why boyfriend Rob is increasingly distant.
When the developers win the battle and move into town everyone’s life is turned upside down.
Kat meets building site project manager Alex. She enjoys his company far too much, even though he’s on the town’s most hated list.
Summer meets Tom who has plenty of relationship troubles of his own, so things could get really complicated.
Soon everyone is keeping secrets, lives change and hearts are broken. Is everything falling apart, or does life just work in mysterious ways…

There’s a sneak peak of the book below and it can be purchased in paperback and ebook formats now on:
*Crooked Cat Publishing
http://www.crookedcatbooks.com/
*Amazon UK
http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Do-You-Spell-Love/dp/1908910771/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1361800360&sr=8-2
*Amazon USA
http://www.amazon.com/How-Do-You-Spell-Love/dp/1908910771/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1361800417&sr=1-3&keywords=zanna+mackenzie

Extract from How Do You Spell Love?
Kat pushed the last of the cottage cheese and shrimp sandwiches into the cool box and slammed the van door shut. As if her life wasn’t enough of a disaster zone as it was – no money, lousy job, losing Nathan, having to move back home to live with her parents – now this had to go and happen. Plus, of course, it didn’t help that today she was feeling shattered after spending half the night chanting some ridiculous protection spell in the middle of the allotments with Summer.
Cringing as a van full of builders stopped at the nearby traffic lights, Kat braced herself for the inevitable. After the standard-issue wolf whistles had drifted across from their van, next came the leered, “Wouldn’t argue with that, love!” as one of them nodded towards her sparkling clean van, parked neatly at the curb. The words “A Bit of Crumpet on the Road” emblazoned down the side in deep purple, glittery lettering. Not for the first time Kat cursed her boss Janice for calling her bakery-cum-deli that name.
Kat sighed, well it certainly drew comments from the public and from their customers, not always welcome ones, but as Janice was always keen to point out, any kind of publicity and attention was, in her eyes, good publicity and attention.
Pulling her navy and white striped apron more tightly around her T-shirt and shorts, Kat ignored the builders and climbed into her van to begin that morning’s deliveries. As she indicated to pull out into the busy street in Luisborough, she mulled over the bad news – that she was to add the controversial Netherton Meadows housing development to her daily sandwich round.
Netherton Meadows. Yippee. If Summer found out, she’d surely be ostracised for fraternising with the environmental enemy. This was a development that pretty much everyone in Luisborough had fought against for getting on towards a year. It had been the focus of STW campaigns. It went against everything that Kat believed in environmental-wise. Everyone hated the Netherton Meadows developers. Except, it seemed, Janice, who was perfectly happy to, in her words, ‘supply yummy builders with yummy sandwiches.’
Lost in thought, Kat just managed to spot the approaching traffic lights had turned to red and hastily slammed a foot on the brake. The van lurched to a halt and several boxes of crisps and one of the cool boxes in the back tipped over. Damn. It was shaping up to be one of those days.
Ten minutes later she pulled into the car park of Printing Phenomenon, hauled some baskets and a box from the van and headed for the reception area. It was getting towards late July and was another one of those blazing hot days that made every little thing feel as though it required a huge amount of effort. The kind of day the people of the UK are so unaccustomed to, where all you want to do is get a large, cool drink and collapse into a deckchair for a long snooze.
Two hours later Kat had visited all her usual drops, was extremely hot and bothered, and could put off going to Netherton Meadows no longer.
Driving through the assorted vans, machinery and portacabins Kat parked next to a building marked as being the Site Office and hit the button on the dashboard. Tinkling chimes filled the air as Kat climbed from the driver’s seat and made to open the back doors of the vehicle. It was embarrassing enough that the van had the company name in large lettering along its side but, just to make sure that it received maximum exposure – and achieved maximum embarrassment – Janice had had some irritating chimes fitted to the vehicle too. Kat was under strict instructions to sound the chimes when she called at all of the sites where people came out to the van; such as they were about to at Netherton Meadows.
A man came down the steps of the office with a grin on his face and walked towards her. “Hi, you must be Kat.” He wedged a clipboard under his left arm and offered a hand to shake. “I’m Alex. Project manager for the site.”
“Hi,” mumbled Kat, spotting a group of hard-hat-clad builders advancing towards her with hungry expressions on their faces.
“Right, lads,” Alex turned towards the men. “This is Kat and she’s very kindly agreed to venture onto this site to bring you all your lunch. Don’t give her any hassle, OK?”
The men laughed and then nodded. “Sure, Alex. You’re the boss.”
Fifteen minutes later it seemed that all of the team at the development had made their sandwich, crisp and drink selections and sloped off to devour them in the sunshine. Only one of the builders, a portly man who must have been twenty years Kat’s senior, had pushed the boundaries a little, despite Alex’s earlier warning. As he’d selected a smoked salmon and cream cheese roll – a choice that had surprised Kat somewhat, having pegged him as a ham and cheese kind of guy – he’d asked Kat if she’d fancy joining him for a drink sometime. She’d politely declined his offer, saying that she had a boyfriend. No need to tell him that, technically, she and Nathan were no longer an item. No need to tell him why either.
Just as Kat slammed the van doors shut, Alex re-appeared from his office.
“Thanks, Kat. I hope none of them caused any trouble?” he asked, taking off his yellow hard hat and running a hand through cropped dark brown hair in an agitated fashion.
“No, they were all fine.” Kat forced a smile, struggling to tuck an escaped tendril of curly blond hair back into her ponytail. God, it was hot today. “Thanks for being so gentlemanly about their behaviour.”
He grinned back at her. “No problem. I know what they can be like and as soon as I saw you getting out of the van I thought I’d better intervene. I’ve had enough problems getting a company to even contemplate coming to this site without them scaring you off on the first day.”
“Problems? Why do you think that is?” asked Kat, sensing an opportunity to make sure this man was fully aware just how much the people of Luisborough were still against the development.
“Because they hate us around here,” he said, shrugging matter-of-factly.
“And that doesn’t bother you?” Kat was now leaning against the van, noting that Alex seemed, somehow, a bit different to the rest of the team on the site. He had a jaded air about him despite the fact that he was clearly much younger than most of the others. Kat couldn’t help noticing that he was also extremely good looking.
“Yes, it bothers me but what can you do?” He sighed. “A job’s a job in this day and age. We all have to make a living, don’t we?”
Softening a little towards him, Kat nodded and rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.”
He moved to stand next to her, propping himself against the van. Kat hadn’t realised until that moment just how tall he was. “Take you, for instance. I can’t imagine it was your lifelong ambition to drive around in a van with that name on the side of it. You must get no end of grief.”
“I do but I need to earn some money to get my life back on track, so here I am.”
“Is this your first job?” he asked, setting his hat and clipboard on the roof of the van and looking at her intently.
“Pretty much. I recently finished a degree in environmental science and geography at university.” She added, trying to sound optimistic, “I’m waiting for my dream job to come along. In the meantime I work at the deli for a pittance and spend the rest of my time volunteering in a charity shop in town.”
“Dream job, eh?” He turned towards her, brown eyes looking at her in a genuinely interested way. “What would your dream job be, then?”
Kat smiled. “That’s easy. I’d love to work on a project like a nature reserve. Helping to preserve the environment, look after the wildlife. The charity shop where I volunteer is the Save the World one. My boss there, Summer, is a good friend and a great campaigner against developments like this.”
Aware that she was telling him things that she hadn’t really spoken to anyone about since Nathan, she quickly turned away. He was a complete stranger. A stranger who stood for everything she was against. He was the enemy, supervising the building of a development that she, and many others, had fought to try to prevent.
Reaching onto the van roof to hand the hat and clipboard back to Alex, she said, “I’d better be going.”
“Sure. Thanks for coming out here.” He started to walk away but then paused, turned back towards her and added, “See you tomorrow, then?”
Kat nodded. As she drove off, she felt more flustered than when she’d arrived. Unfortunately she had a growing suspicion that it had nothing to do with the hot weather or having to bring food to the development against her will. Rather, she suspected, it had much more to do with meeting Alex the site manager. Not a good sign at all.

Author Bio and links
Author bio
Zanna Mackenzie lives in the East Midlands in the UK with her husband, 4 dogs, a vegetable patch that’s home to far too many weeds and an ever expanding library of books waiting to be read.
Being a freelance writer and editor of business publications is her ‘day job’ but, at every opportunity, she can be found scribbling down notes on scenes for whatever novel she’s working on. She loves it when the characters in her novels take on minds of their own and start deviating from the original plot!
Formerly a travel agent and therapist (she has qualifications in clinical aromatherapy, crystal healing, naturopathic nutrition and herbalism) she loves walking the dogs and gardening – that’s when she’s not writing or reading!
Zanna has written two novels, The Love Programme and How Do You Spell Love?

Find out more about Zanna at:
www.zannamackenzie.blogspot.co.uk
www.zannamackenzie.co.uk
Twitter: @ZannaMacKenzie
Facebook: www.facebook.com/zanna. mackenzie
Goodreads - http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/10703273-zanna-mackenzie

Characters are the core of your story. There’s no doubt about that. Even if you write plot-based fiction, you still need dimensional characters. You also want to create characters who feel (i.e. show emotions) so that your reader can connect with them. And if the reader connects with the main character within the first page, she’s going to keep reading. Right?

This is why you want to check out the non-fiction book, Breathing Life Into Your Characters: How To Give Your Characters Emotional & Psychological Depth, by Rachel Ballon. Whew! Say that five times fast.

In it you’ll learn how to create your characters both inside and out, and I mean beyond the typical interviews you see in most books on writing fiction. You’ll know your characters so well, they’ll become real to you, and that will make it easier to for you to make them real for your reader. You’ll learn through explanations, examples, and exercises to:

• create character backstories and motivations
• infuse feelings into your characters
• determine how they deal with conflict
• work with dysfunctional families
• make your villains believable and non-cartoonish
• create believable characters who have personality or behavior
disorders
• convey emotions through imagery, dialogue, and subtext

This is one of the best books I’ve read on the subject of characterization and emotion (the other two I’ve discussed here and here).

Any questions?

<<<3

I have some contest news. Enter Kate Walton’s contest and you have a chance to win some awesome prizes, including a first chapter critique by agent Sarah LaPolla.

But then again, if you don't enter, if increases my odds of winning. Of course, if one of you wins, I'll be really excited for you . . . so please enter. I'd love to see one of my friends win.

Okay, quick question. In each scene of your short story or novel, can you tell me the objective for each of your characters? In other words, what are they planning to do?

For example, say you have a scene that takes place in a math class. Better yet, social studies. That class always put me to sleep. Your teacher’s objective might be to get through the class without any trouble from the known gang member who actually decided to show up that day. Your main character and her best friend’s objective might be to continue the conversation they started before the bell, without getting caught. And the known gang member? He has a thing for your main character and is trying to get a rise out of her, especially since she’s pretending he doesn’t exist.

Now that you know each of the characters’ objectives for the scene, you’ll be able to write dialogue and action that keeps readers glued to the page. Plus you can make sure some of your character’s objective clash (like the main character and that hot gang member) so the scene is dripping with conflict.

Obviously this is perfect for those of us who write outlines first. But don’t worry if you don’t. You can always go back after writing your first draft, and figure it out before moving onto your next one.

For more information (and there’s a whole chapters worth), be sure to check out Getting Into Character: Seven Secrets A Novelist Can Learn From Actors. I told you last week this is an awesome book.

Now that summer is upon us, it’s time to study that oft times misunderstood species: THE TEENAGER.

(Please note: I don’t consider teens to be a separate species. I just wanted to clarify that so no one (teens) take offense.)

Obviously this post is geared towards YA writers, but don’t worry, my research tactics (as used by Jane Goodall (chimpanzees) and Dian Fossey (gorillas)) are applicable to any type of character.

1. Make sure you’ve done your PRE-STUDY homework first. You can’t observe your subject without some prior understanding of their behaviour, mating rituals, group dynamics. Recommended readings include: Teen Stages--The Breakthrough, Year-by-Year Approach to Understanding Your Ever-Changing Teen by Elizabeth & Ken Mellor (and yes, somehow they fit that on the cover--barely) and Dr. Karyn's Guide To The Teen Years by Dr. Karyn Gordon. I strongly recommend the first book for the purpose of writing a YA novel. The added bonus is it's a quick read. The second one has some great example of parents to use if you want to create a dysfunctional family in your novel.

2. All good researchers TAKE NOTES. The trick is not to look obvious about it. And DO NOT take photos or videos without permission. That’s just too creepy, and will likely get you arrested, especially if you’re a guy photographing teenage girls. Seriously, don’t do it.

3. Determine the age group you want to study. A thirteen-year-old girl is at a different developmental stage than a seventeen-year-old female. This is where doing your pre-studying, first, helps.

4. Go to their natural environment where they HANG OUT. This isn’t too hard to figure out. At this time of the year, they’re everywhere.

5. Keep your distance at first. You don’t want to freak them out, right? Observe how they interact with their friends. Fortunately, the more friends they’re with, the louder they get. This is extremely helpful when you are spying observing from a distance.

6. Once you’ve GAINED THEIR TRUST (and they don’t look like they’re going to charge at you in an aggressive manner), approach with caution. Dian Fossey had a brilliant technique for this: don’t make eye contact. By keeping your head cocked to the side, and examining that uber-cool top you just discovered, you can approach without setting off any alarms. If the teen makes an indication SHE’s going to bolt, then STAY STILL, and continue to observe on the sly. If HE looks like he’s going to charge, then BACK AWAY slowly while still avoiding eye contact.

7. Listen to what the teens say and how they say it. STUDY their non-verbal gestures. Especially study their non-verbal gestures within their species (BFF, boyfriend, etc) and with individuals of other species (parents). They are especially skilled at looking bored while spending quality time with their family being dragged around by their parents.

8. Go to the places where your main character would hang out. For example, if your character is into Goth, then chances are good she doesn’t hang out in a ballet studio. THOUGH it would be super cool if she did.

9. All good researchers know you have to be careful about GENERALIZATIONS. Teens are individuals. What one teen does is not necessarily applicable to all teens. The more teens you study, the better off you’ll be.

I hope that helps you in your quest to write authentic teens and their dialogue in your YA novel. And don’t forget to study—in addition to studying teens in their natural habitats—their books, TV shows, movies, etc. You’ll gain a wealth of info that way.

<<<3

As some of you know, I’m addicted to craft books on writing fiction. Because I’m about to tackle the revisions on the first draft of my YA horror novel, I couldn’t resist buying Revision & Self-Editing: Techniques for transforming your first draft into a finished novel by James Scott Bell.

First off, I already own several great books on editing (see list below). Each book offers writers something the others don’t. Revision & Self-Editing is no exception. The commonality between them is the multitude of exercises and checklists to help you identify your novel’s problem areas. If you’re a left-brainer (analytical thinker) or whole-brainer (like me), you’ll thrive on this aspect of the book. For the right-brainer (the creative thinker), the book will help you make your manuscript stronger. You just need to have an open mind to being analytical.

If you’re looking for a comprehensive book on writing fiction, this book isn’t for you. James covers all the important elements of fiction (characterization, plot & structure, point of view, dialogue, description, etc), but the chapters are more like summaries. For more in-depth information, you need to check out other resources (e.g. Plot & Structure). There is, though, tons of information you might not know or have forgotten. He hits the key points of each element, and he does it well.

What I found great about the book was that it is a quick read. I had a hard time putting it down (crazy, huh?) because the chapters are short. It was easy to read “just one more chapter” and then keep on reading. This made for an even quicker read. It means you’re not wasting time reading the book when what you really want to do is edit your novel. Overall, I highly recommend the book no matter what your skill level.

Do you have a favorite book you use for editing your manuscript?

Other recommended books:
Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook by Donald Maass
Manuscript Makeover by Elizabeth Lyon
Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne & Dave King
The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo posts a one word prompt and gives us the challenge to write on that word for 5 minutes... no editing (okay, I edit... I can't help it).

Today's word is: JOIN

GO

I'm not very good at joining things. I'm kinda shy (I know... imagine that!) and not very good at talking in conversations because awkward silences make me nervous like, 'What am I supposed to say... am I supposed to say something or is it their turn? Have they noticed that I'm smiling like a loon while exchanging inner dialogue with myself? Are they, in fact, doing the same thing?'

So yeah... it takes me a while to get out of my shell... but boy when I do. When I join in, it's fun.

I edit in my brain before I speak which is good in some ways, but in others not so much. I don't want to say anything wrong or offensive (plus when I write I have a backbutton... my mouth doesn't have one unfortunately). So I end up looking disinterested or just plain silly. But it's okay.

I've noticed that I'm not the only one :)

I think there are a lot of people like me.

What about you? Do you join groups easily? Do you edit yourself before you talk? Should you do that more? ;)

STOP

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