Purple Prose:
conflict

When creating your characters, consider their humor. I’m not talking about their sense of humor. I’m referring to the concept Hippocrates (the father of medicine) came up with. He claimed the humor was responsible for each person’s typical mood. In Breathing Life into Your Characters, Rachel Ballon described these moods as temperaments and each temperament is made up of various traits. The four temperaments are:

Sanugine (cheerful and optimistic)

source

Melancholic (depressed)

source

Choleric (too aggressive and impulsive)

source unknown

Phlegmatic (Cold-hearted)

source

For a complete list of traits for each temperament, check out this brilliant post by Misha Gericke (it’s the same one from Cool Links last Friday).

Depending on the situation, a different combination of traits will be expressed. This reveals characterization. If you know your characters’ temperaments and traits, it will make writing the scene so much easier. And when you pit two characters together with contrasting temperaments, you create conflict.

Here’s an exercise you can try when creating characters (main and secondary):

1. Select several characters from the story and assign each a temperament and several traits.

2. Come up with an idea for a scene. It doesn’t have to be from your story, but do keep to something similar to what you would find in your book. For example, if you’re writing YA contemporary and your characters’ lives are never at risk, you might not want to do this exercise with a life of death situation. Or maybe you do.

3. Now write the scene, but write it from each character’s point of view. No, I don’t mean you can go head hoping. If you have three characters, write the scene three times, each time from a different character’s point of view. (Hint: Identify the Goal, Motivation, and Conflict for each character first).

Not only will you get to know your characters better, and how they would deal with a situation similar to what’s in your story, it will help you develop each character’s voice for their dialogue. If you’re having trouble getting the emotion right in a scene, you can always try this exercise, too. It will help put you in the secondary character’s head.

(Note: this exercise isn’t the same one in Rachel’s book. Her exercise inspired this one.)

When creating your characters, have you consider their temperaments?

©Stina Lindenblatt

Promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise. Author Unknown

Nothing is more frustrating than being the recipient of empty promises. Especially when they come from the same person. Again and again and again. When you make a promise and you know at the time it’ll be impossible keep, it’s no longer a promise. It’s a lie. Make too many of them, and you lose credibility, and no one wants that, right?

Right.

In writing, broken promises can be both good and bad. When you write a query or synopsis, you’re making a promise to the agent or editor. If you’re promising a book filled with mystery and intrigue, your book better live up to that promise.

©Stina Lindenblatt

Thou ought to be nice, even to superstition, in keeping thy promises, and therefore equally cautious in making them. ~Thomas Fuller

The dreaded first chapter is the king of promises. If your first pages are filled with grammatical errors, awkward sentences, and typos, guess what you’re promising the rest of the book will be like? If your main character is flat, then the agent expects he won’t improve much beyond the first chapter. These are two promises you want to break. Unfortunately, agents won't stick around to find out if you do.

If the beginning is humorous, the reader expects this tone to continue throughout the story. If your first chapter is kickass great, you’ve promised the rest of the book is the same. Professional critiques from conferences and workshops are wonderful, but you need to make sure what was said in those pages carries through to the end of the book. These two promises are ones you don't want to break.

©Stina Lindenblatt

What do promises and hearts have in common? They're meant to be kept but always end up broken. Author Unknown

Broken promises in your story can add conflict, and this is when broken promises rock. If your character’s boyfriend keeps making promises he doesn’t keep, this will ultimately shape the story and affect her character arc. If a character’s dad always made promises he didn’t keep when she was a kid, that will shape who she is at the beginning of the story, and how she acts in given situations. Because of her dad’s empty promises, she doesn’t trust men. Think of all the story possibilities waiting for you given that scenario, especially if your book is a romance.

How do broken promises make you feel? Do you use them in your stories?

As you might have figured out by now, I’m a writing-craft-book junkie. So it should come as no surprise when I picked up Elements of Fiction Writing: Conflict & Suspense by James Scott Bell. I wasn’t planning to. But then author Jody Hedlund gushed about it on her blog. And she was right. The book seriously rocks (Okay, those weren’t her exact words).

It’s divided into two sections: Conflict and Suspense. These are further subdivided into twenty-two informative chapters (you can check out the table of content here). The explanations in each chapter are brilliant, and examples from various novels are used to demonstrate the key points. For those of you who enjoy exercises that transfer to your writing (me me me!), the book is rich in that area. For example (chapter 12—Styling for Conflict):

• Identify a highly charged moment in your book.

• Make a list of possible actions, gestures, or setting descriptions that might reflect upon the scene.

• List at least twenty to twenty-five possibilities as fast as you can. Remember, the best way to get good ideas is to come up with a lot of ideas and then choose the ones you want to use.

• Write a long paragraph incorporating the detail, then edit the paragraph so it is lean and potent. The telling detail works best when it is subtle and does all the work by itself.

I’d like to welcome back S.J Kincaid, author of the upcoming YA dystopian novel for boys, Insignia.

If you missed part one of her post on writing action scene, click here and here. Her analysis is based on the book Watership Down. I watched the movie as a kid, and cried. A lot. (Not a great movie to watch if you have pet rabbits).

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TIMING
The entire clash between Bigwig and Woundwort is spliced between the other aspects of the larger battle going on, but the entire outcome hinges on what happens between these two rabbits. It doesn’t drag on too long, it doesn’t eclipse everything else going on. Instead, we get to experience a tiny triumph before the much larger triumph later in the battle when General Woundwort encounters his greatest surprise of all (but I’ve spoiled enough).

ON THAT NOTE…
I can’t go into much more depth about this, because it’s been ages since I’ve read Watership Down, but I remember the Bigwig/Woundwort skirmish vividly. IMO, that’s the mark of a powerful scene—the fact that I remember it after all this time.

The most important thing to take away from this is that I truly believe emotion matters the most, when it comes to writing a decent action scene. That’s what makes a fight scene interesting, and it’s what gives the reader a stake in its outcome. The rest, the technical stuff (the mechanics of throwing punches, of laying down sentences, of word choice), that’s just window-dressing. It’s merely the vehicle for expressing the larger, emotional idea of what’s going on in the scene. Consider the special effects of a movie: yes, they look cool, but if the movie only consists of special effects, what do we care? This is why the clumsy sword battle between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is so riveting, and the sophisticated, dazzling swordplay between Darth Maul and the two Jedi in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, is so completely lame in comparison. It’s all about what the audience feels. Same principle applies to writing. The trick of an action scene is above all to convince a reader to care. The reader’s emotional engagement in the scene will do the bulk of the work for you.

This is why I often dread writing action scenes. There is so much to consider, so much to put in place beforehand, and it is incredibly easy to throw in an explosion and superficially make the plot more interesting, without bringing a reader along for the ride emotionally. When you do pull of a fight scene, though? When you read your own writing and realize you’ve hit those points you were aiming for? That’s one of the most satisfying things in the world. If you’re an aspiring writer, I’m sure you’ve experienced this yourself. So although I dread writing them, I know if I can pull them off, the payoff will make the writing worth it.

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Thanks S.J. Kincaid for you awesome posts on writing action scenes. Here’s the blub to the book my son and I can’t wait to read. It’s due out July 10^th from Katherine Tegen Books (Harpercollins).

IT'S WORLD WAR III.
THE ENEMY IS WINNING.
WHAT IF THE GOVERNMENT'S SECRET WEAPON IS YOU?

More than anything, Tom Raines wants to be important, though his shadowy life is anything but that. For years, Tom’s drifted from casino to casino with his unlucky gambler of a dad, gaming for their survival. Keeping a roof over their heads depends on a careful combination of skill, luck, con artistry, and staying invisible.

Then one day, Tom stops being invisible. Someone’s been watching his virtual-reality prowess, and he’s offered the incredible—a place at the Pentagonal Spire, an elite military academy. There, Tom’s instincts for combat will be put to the test, and if he passes, he’ll become a member of the Intrasolar Forces, helping to lead his country to victory in World War Three. Finally, he’ll be someone important: a superhuman war machine with the tech skills that every virtual-reality warrior dreams of. Life at the Spire holds everything that Tom’s always wanted—friends, the possibility of a girlfriend, and a life where his every action matters—but what will it cost him?

Gripping and provocative, S. J. Kincaid’s futuristic thrill ride of a debut crackles with memorable characters, tremendous wit, and a vision of the future that asks startling, timely questions about the melding of humanity and technology.

I’d like to welcome back S.J Kincaid, author of the upcoming YA dystopian novel for boys, Insignia.

If you missed part one of her post on writing action scene, click here. Her analysis is based on the book Watership Down.

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BIGWIG AND WOUNDWORT, AND THEIR VERY PERSONAL HISTORY:
Bigwig infiltrated General Woundwort's frightening warren. Woundwort was impressed by his size and his ferocity, so he imbued Bigwig with some measure of authority. When Bigwig helped a number of rabbits escape Efrafra, and his loyalty to Woundwort was revealed as a ruse, this was more than a heist-- it was a personal betrayal of Woundwort. When Woundwort and his rabbits close in on Watership Down, he's determined above all to exact revenge on the traitorous Bigwig. There is serious bad blood between these two rabbits.

THE STAKES OF THIS BATTLE:
By the time Bigwig faces down Woundwort, the very survival of Watership Down is at stake. They are in the middle of a battle for their very existence. Their free warren is the last bulwark against Woundwort's fascist, rabbity empire, and the entire battle comes down to whether Bigwig can hold a critical tunnel for his side. Bigwig believes even his dead body will block the run long enough to save the day-- as long as he doesn't let the larger General Woundwort shove him backward out of the tunnel. These are the highest stakes you'll ever get here.

CLEVERNESS/SURPRISES DURING THE FIGHT:
I can't recall off the top of my head whether the reader is in on this or not, but Bigwig knows Woundwort is too large to take in an open fight. So he plants himself in a critical tunnel, where Woundwort won't have room to navigate, and buries himself in the dirt. Woundwort starts down the tunnel, certain he's about to win the day, and then out springs Bigwig, taking the clever General by surprise. Clever tactics are employed, surprises are there, and these all hold my attention as a reader.

HIGH EMOTIONS:
There are many instances of this in the battle. This fight is the climax in the Bigwig/Woundwort relationship. Woundwort, more fearsome, cannot overcome Bigwig, who fights out of sheer conviction. Bigwig is determined to die if he must, and Woundwort's bloodlust shifts to a dawning realization he may not win a battle against a rabbit as determined and ferocious as Bigwig, even if he is larger and stronger than Bigwig by far.

There are other small aspects that are extremely well done. In one moment, Woundwort, faced with the first true challenge of his life, demands to know why Bigwig won't just surrender. He offers him his life. Bigwig refuses and informs him 'his chief rabbit' has ordered him to hold this tunnel. This is when we get one of the most satisfying moments of the book: the invincible General Woundwort feels a moment of true fear. We find out he’s always assumed Bigwig was chief rabbit of his warren, and now he envisions a 'terrible chief rabbit' lurking in the tunnels somewhere who is larger and stronger than Bigwig. (We, the readers, know that the chief rabbit, Hazel, is smaller than Bigwig, and has a lame foot, to boot. In fact, General Woundwort had already seen him, and dismissed him without a second thought as insignificant. That's why it's fun to be in on a secret.) Until now, we have only seen Woundwort as a terrible tyrant feared by all. In this particularly striking moment, we get to see Woundwort experience his first true doubt, and it’s wonderful to read.

These emotions throughout the battle, the moments large and small, keep a reader hanging on every word.

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Part three (the final part) will be posted on Monday.

If you want to know about writing action scenes, who better to ask than an author of action-packed YA stories for boys. I’m excited to welcome S.J. Kincaid. Her YA dystopian novel Insignia (Harpercollins) is due out July 10. My son and I can’t wait to read it!

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Thanks for letting me guest post, Stina!

Okay, the truth is, I dread writing action scenes. Given the sheer number of action scenes I included in INSIGNIA, this assertion may strike those who have read the story as odd, but it's true. As my manuscripts approach those moments I need to have violent clashes, I always feel a terrible reluctance to proceed, like I'm about to head to the dentist or attack a sink overflowing with dishes.

I dread writing them because the best action scenes must be set up a long time before the action actually takes place, and there are a lot more considerations to keep in mind than just the technical aspects of throwing punches, or the coolness of giant explosions.

I'm going to focus here on an action scene I think is absolutely awesome: the climactic fight between Bigwig and General Woundwort in the middle of the final battle of WATERSHIP DOWN, by Richard Adams. There are some awesome moments in the battle between other characters, but I'm just going to zoom in on these two.

BASICS:
Any writers querying agents have probably read the conventional wisdom: "Never start a novel with a fight scene." Why is this? Because we don't know the characters, we don't know the antagonists, we don't know the stakes, so we're not sure why we care about this fight. This same line of reasoning explains why we do care when we encounter fight scenes: because we know the protagonist, we know the antagonist, we know the stakes. With that said, let me go into why the fight sequence of Watership Down is awesome.

BIGWIG, THE GOOD GUY:
By the time of this battle scene, the reader is firmly attached to Bigwig. He starts off as an off-and-on antagonistic character to Hazel (the main character), and Fiver (his brother), but they've formed a solid bond of trust by now, and through that bond, we’ve bonded with Bigwig. Bigwig's immense size and strength render him a critical source of support for Hazel, who is now chief rabbit of the new warren, Watership Down. He's also exhibited his humanity (er, rabbit-anity?) on several occasions, most notably when rescuing a tortured rabbit, Blackavar, from the grasp of General Woundwort, and when befriending the seagull, Kehaar. We want Bigwig to live, and we’ve seen enough deaths of other rabbits to realize it is not a given that he’ll survive.

GENERAL WOUNDWORT, THE ENEMY:
From the moment of General Woundwort's introduction, it's clear he's the largest, most frightening rabbit in existence. He's the leader of an almost fascist network of warrens, he survived on his own in the wild (unheard of), his sheer size is staggering, and even the closest thing the Watership Down rabbits have to a WMD (the seagull Kehaar), is batted contemptuously aside by this fearsome rabbit. By the time Bigwig and General Woundwort are ready for their huge brawl, we've learned to fear this rabbit through the other rabbits who know of him. This is a worthy enemy for Bigwig.

Part 2 of the post will continue on Wednesday.

Do you enjoy writing action scenes?

©Stina Lindenblatt

Dimension. It’s what we seek when creating characters. It can also add interest to your photos.

In the above picture, I turned off the flash and allowed the lighting from the side to form the shadows and add highlights. The photo was taken at the Exploratorium in San Francisco (my nine year old created the design on one of the science exhibits).

When shaping your characters, come up with both positive and negative traits. The protagonist will have more positive than negative traits, and the opposite will be true for the antagonist(s). Some positive traits may become negative in certain circumstance (and vice versa).

Also, give your characters two conflicting desires (wants). By doing this, you will heighten the emotion in your story and add conflict and tension. The “desire” the character decides to pursue at a given time will depend on your character’s motivation and who she is. For example, in The Hunger Games*, Katniss doesn’t want to be picked as a tribune for the games. If she is, the odds of her returning home alive aren’t good. Her other desire is to keep her little sister safe. So when her sister’s name is randomly selected to be a tribune, Katniss’s two desires are put at odds. Her desire to keep her sister safe outweighs her desire not to be a tribune, and she volunteers to take her sister’s place in the games.

Have you used any of these techniques to add dimension to your characters or photos?

*The link will take you to The Hunger Games movie trailer.

How many of you have beta read for someone and received a thank you from the person even though your suggestions caused her to do massive rewrites? How many of you received, instead, a nasty email telling you how wrong you are?

We’ve all heard the sage advice that you should wait at least three days before responding to a critique. What you don’t want to do is criticize the person who beta reads your book and undermine her opinion. If you don’t agree with it, then simply ignore it.

I recently sent feedback on a novel I was beta reading. For the most part I had been enjoying it, but there were a few clichés and aspects that I felt were cruel or hurtful to certain teen readers. Also, there was a character type I’d seen in the teen movie Easy A (who came off as a cliché/stereotype even in the movie). The similarities between the two were too close for comfort. I emailed the writer to warn her. Unfortunately, the writer felt it necessary to send me a nasty email. Once it became insulting, I stopped reading it, for both our sakes.

Fortunately, I’m not a vindictive person. If her book is published, I’ll still buy it to support the author. But not everyone is like me. What would happen if her book was published one day, and it had been someone else who received the nasty email? Remember, what happens in Los Vegas doesn’t always stay in Lost Vegas. You don’t want your unprofessional attitude to someone’s feedback to hurt you down the line.

The other problem is that if you keep berating your beta readers you disagree with, you’re setting yourself up for learned behaviors that are inappropriate when you are published. You’re more likely to respond to negative reviews in a non-professional manner, which is something you want to avoid at all costs.

So remember, if you want your beta readers to only gush about your book, great. Just warn them first. And if you don’t like what they have to say, then just thank them and ignore it. Don’t justify why you did something a certain way, unless you’re hoping for additional feedback.

Has anyone else had a similar situation?

Why do readers of romance keeping turning the page instead of rushing off to clean the toilet? (I mean, other than the obvious reason.) It’s because they want to know what happens between the hero and heroine. This is true regardless if you’re writing YA novels, romantic suspense, paranormal romances.

But it’s not enough to give the two characters a happily-ever-after from page one (save that for the ending). You need to create tension and conflict between them, which is maintained throughout the story.

According to Leslie Waigner (Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies) this can be achieved by creating an emotional conflict (one that grows from the heart) between the two characters that has nothing to with the plot. After that, you can throw all kinds of complications at them.

However, don’t confuse emotional conflict with intellectual conflict. Intellectual conflict comes from the head, such as opinions.

Remember, at the end of the day, the reader cares more about what’s in the hero’s and heroine’s hearts than what’s in their heads. (Okay, you know what I mean.)

Even if the romance is only a subplot, you still want to keep these things in mind when you write this aspect of the story.

What keeps you turning the pages of a novel (and it doesn’t have to be about romance)?

One of the workshops I attended during the RWA (Romance Writers of America) national conference dealt with adding emotion to your story.

Author Jennifer Greene explained that not all conflicts will give you an emotional story. When you create conflict, make sure it’s not one your character can escape or walk away from, and make your character as miserable as possible. Only then will your conflict have the greatest emotional impact.

For example, a tornado isn’t a conflict if your characters can hide in a tornado shelter. In the movie Where the Heart Is, a severe storm rapidly approaches Natalie Portman’s home. She and her three-year-old daughter rush over to the neighbor’s house to hide in the storm cellar. However, Natalie’s friend (the woman who took Natalie and her newborn baby in when they had no place to go) left a short while ago to deliver soup to a sick friend. Natalie’s frantic and stays above ground, waiting for Stockard Channing to return. And then the worst happens: a tornado develops. Natalie waits for as long as she can before she has to seek cover. But as she climbs down the stairs, before she has a chance to close the storm door, the wind tries to suck her away. Natalie is left clinging to the railing.

Scared and upset at what’s happening to her mom, Natalie’s daughter tries to go to her, despite the neighbor’s attempt to stop her. The strong wind catches her and pulls her out of the storm cellar. Her mom manages to grab hold of her at the last second. Fortunately, the door then slams shut, saving them both.

But that’s not the end of the heart pounding moment. Stockard Channing is still missing. Unfortunately, the news is not good. She doesn’t survive. The emotional moment is brought to its climax with Natalie taking photos of her daughter holding onto the skinny trunk of the (symbolic) buckeye tree while surveying the devastation. The award winning photo is a heartbreaking reminder of what was lost that day.

Now, that’s emotional conflict.

(And yes, I cry every time I watch the move.)

How about your story? Can your protagonist escape/walk away from the story problem or conflict? If so, maybe now’s the time to brainstorm ways so she can’t.

I’d like to introduce you to my new best friend.

That’s right. My new best friend is a corkboard, and it’s become my savior when it came to restructuring my WIP. I love it so much, I’m going to use it this summer to plot out my next novel.
This is how it works:
· Each index card represents a scene.
· On one side of the card, write a sentence or two about the scene.
· On the bottom, indicate what emotional change(s) your POV character goes through during the scene.
· On the back, write the GMC (Goal, Motivation, Conflict) for your POV character. If you want, you can write them for all the characters in the scene, too, though you might have to do this on additional index cards and pile them underneath the main one.
Now comes the fun part:
· Pin the index cards in the order you think the scenes should go.
· Play around with them, and see if there’s a better way to sequence the scenes to make your story stronger.
· Don’t be afraid to toss away scenes that aren’t working the way you first envisioned.
Obviously, this is ideally done BEFORE you write your first draft. But even if you’ve written your first draft (or your third or fifth draft), you can still use this tool. When Laura Pauling (the queen of story structure) told me I should move a few scenes around in my WIP, I thought she was insane brilliant. But after playing around with the corkboard, I not only moved those scenes around, I moved several others and tossed a few in the recycle bin (but this is only because my story problem/goal had changed).
While moving a scene might sound daunting if you’ve already written the first draft, after plotting things out on the corkboard, it’s not so scary after all. You can see how much better the story will be, and the rewrites won’t be so painful (at least that’s what I keep telling myself).
You can’t see it in this picture, but the cards are organized according to Act, and the key element of the act (e.g Catalyst, Debate, or Dark Moment*) are indicated on the appropriate card.
Have any of you used a corkboard (or the software equivalent) for plotting out your story (either before the first draft (plotters) or afterwards (pansters)? And if so, do you have any other tips to share?
(* refers to the elements in Save the Cat by Blake Synder)
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Next week, I’m going to NYC for the RWA conference (and family vacation). Since I have a gazillion things to do before I leave, this will be my last post until July 11th. After that, I’ll be posting Mondays and Wednesdays until September 5th.

I miss you all already. :)

XOX

What do writers do when we watch movies? Yep, we analyze them. And that’s exactly what I did last weekend when I took my kids to see Rio (loved it, btw).

According to one of my favorite writing books, Emotional Structure: Creating the Story Beneath the Plot (which I reviewed a few weeks ago), fear is an important element when creating characterization. The character must overcome his fear by the end of the story in order for character growth to occur. But you have to know what the underlying cause is, because this is what he will have to face in the end. This will also be the cause of some of the obstacles the character will face while trying to achieve his goal. His fear will dictate what he will do.

Okay, let’s go back to Rio. (Don’t worry, no spoilers here.)

Blu is the main character. He’s a blue macaw and the last of his kind. But unlike the typical macaw, he can’t fly. Why? Well, in the beginning (the prologue) his mama left him alone in the nest while she went off to get food. He watches a group of red macaw chicks get tossed out of their nest by their mama and start to fly. Something bad suddenly happens in the jungle and Blu knows he needs to escape, so he jumps out of his nest. However, unlike the other macaws, he doesn’t fly. He lands in a bush and is caught by humans.

So naturally, Blu never learns to fly and is scared to try. It’s his inability to believe in himself that leads to his fear of flying. By the end of the movie, he needs to believe in himself in order to succeed (character arc).

Do any of your characters (and it doesn’t have to be just the protagonist) have a fear they need to overcome by the end of the story?

As writers, our goal is to create stories with intricately woven layers that keep the reader on the edge of her seat. But how do you do that?

In his non-fiction book, Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook (which I highly recommend), Donald Maass talks about the plot layer and the subplot. The plot layer is specific to the main character; whereas, the subplot is specific to the secondary characters. Yep, that was news to me, too.

Ideally, your main character has more than one plot layer. The more the better. So if you only have two, you’d better start brainstorming for some more. One will, of course, be the main story problem. Others, for example, could deal with the romantic storyline and the storylines dealing with the interactions between your main character and various family members, friends, teachers.

Because all our characters are dimensional (right?), each has their own interests, values, secrets, etc. Maybe the potential love interest is training hard to make the high school swim team. Great. As long as his goal somehow interconnects with the main character’s story. And if it somehow interconnects with other secondary characters’ stories, too, even better.

This means the more you know about your characters before you start the first draft, the easier it will be to make sure you have enough plot layers, and that your plot layers and subplots interconnect in as many ways as possible. Even if you’re a panster, it’s worth it to brainstorm first to make sure your story is as rich as possible before you start writing. It will mean fewer headaches down the line—even if you haven’t fully developed each plot layer and subplot beforehand.

Another thing you can do is analyze the novel you’re working on, and see if there are any subplots or plot layers that can be removed without damaging your story tapestry. If the answer is yes, then it hasn’t been woven into the story and is probably unnecessary.

Be sure to check out the exercises in the workbook. They really are worth taking the time to do no matter where you are in the writing process (preplanning, first draft, later revisions).

Note: I’m not getting any compensation for this. But you know, Donald, a ms request would be nice. I’m just saying, yanno. ;)

Two weeks ago, I started querying my YA contemporary novel, Still. Things started off well. Within two days, I landed a partial request (I already had a full out).

Naturally, I did this:

But I'd also submitted my query to Agent Mailbox on a website for YA writers.

If your query and first 250 words are accepted, it goes to a panel of ten agents. It’s faster than going the regular channels, plus you get feedback from the site administer and her assistant. The assistant had already given me her feedback so I confidently fired off the query that landed me the request.

But the site administer felt the query could be improved. I worked on it, and took it to my local RWA meeting (Romance Writers of America) for query night. And boy did I get some bad advice, as well as a few good suggestions. After that, one of my friends had a go at it. As did someone else. Before I knew it, I'd completely lost confidence in my query because it never seemed to be right. And it didn’t help that during this, it had lost my main character’s voice. The thing that’s vital in your query.

I was ready to give up. I had become paralyzed by fear. Fear that agents would find something wrong with it. Fear that I would send it out, only for someone to come up with a better version which might garner me a request instead of a rejection.

A few days later, after reposting the shiny new query on Agent Mailbox, the site administer critted it but there was one major problem based on my hook (which was pretty much the same hook as before):

Most seventeen-year-olds struggle to keep secrets, but if Calleigh screws up, her best friend is dead.

According to the individual, the death of the best friend wasn’t a big enough stake. It should be a family member. Huh? I was positive this line indicated the type of person Calleigh is and the strength of the friendship. Alejandra’s like a sister to Calleigh.

Several hours after this, I landed a request from my old query. I send out the new one, and landed another request.

Apparently, four agents didn’t share the individual’s opinion. Why? Because they didn’t read it using adult logic (like the critter did). They used teen logic. Plus, what's important to a teen, might not be as important to an adult. If the book was about a forty year old, then the potential death of the wife and kids would be a better choice.

Well, let’s just say I'm now cured of Querying Paralysis (I just have to drag myself from my new WIP to send out more queries).

Has anyone else had to deal with Querying Paralysis, and what did you do to overcome it (or maybe you haven’t)?

The premise behind The Writer’s Guide to Psychology by Carolyn Kaufman is brilliant. I don’t know about you, but my psychology background consists of three university courses: introduction to psychology, abnormal psychology, and social psychology. And when I took them, it wasn’t because I wanted to be a writer. I might have taken better notes had I know I’d eventually be one.

As the second part of the super long title indicates (How to Write Accurately About Psychological Disorders, Clinical Treatment and Human Behavior), this book is perfect for anyone who’s writing a novel. Okay, maybe the title doesn’t actually show that, but it’s true. In chapter two (Why People Do What They Do), Carolyn discusses the different therapist stereotypes portrayed in films and novels. She then goes into the five different therapy orientations (e.g. psychodynamic therapy) and describes how each would be used to help a client overcome whatever issues he’s dealing with. But she takes it one step further by explaining how each therapy can help you understand your character (even if your character doesn’t require therapy).

Another benefit of the book is that Carolyn explains the realities of therapy, and helps you create realistic scenes in which your main character is either receiving therapy or conducting a therapy session. Again, novels, TV shows, and movies often misrepresent this, so it’s not a good idea to use them as a guide when you write your story.

Carolyn also describes the difference between someone who needs therapy to help them deal with some aspect of their life verses someone who has a diagnosable disorder. A large chunk of the book then covers the different disorders, including:

• Mood, anxiety, and psychotic disorders
• Childhood disorders (autistic spectrum disorder, ADHD, conduct disorder)
• Dementia
• Eating disorders
• Post traumatic stress disorder
• Dissociation
• Personality disorders

And let’s not forget the chapter on psychopaths and villains. Here you get insights into what makes a psychopath and how to makes yours believable. This also includes the corporate psychopath, the individual who’s hungry for power. And finally, there’s a chapter on drugs and treatments, such as electroconvulsive therapy, and one on emergencies in psychotherapy (suicidality, homicidality, and hospitalization).

The idea behind the book is to help you avoid making the same mistakes so many lay writers make when writing a novel that requires some insight into psychology or therapy. Throughout the book, there are little tidbits called “Don’t Let This Happen To You” that will help you avoid the mistakes that will weaken the credibility of your writing. Plus, Carolyn has a great suggestion in chapter one for coming up with plot ideas. I’m not going to tell you what it is, though. You have to read the book.

Overall, I’m thrilled that I bought the book. It’s open me to a huge range of plot ideas for future projects. You’ve got to love a book that can do that.

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I’m blogging today on the Query Tracker blog on Deepening Your Character’s Needs

Three weeks ago, I attended the first SCBWI conference in my city. One of my favorite talks dealt with something I struggle with: setting.

Crystal Stranaghan, publisher for Gumboot Books, did a great job of showing us how setting can be used in dishing out conflict. And it goes beyond the typical man against environment scenario we’re familiar with. You know, throw in a hurricane or blizzard when everything is going otherwise hunky- dory.

In her explanation, she used New Moon and Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer as an example. In the books, we have the protagonist, Bella. But unlike most of us, she has two guys mooning over her (excuse the pun!): Edward, the vampire, and Jacob, the werewolf. And let’s just say there’s major conflict between those two without adding anything else to the mix.

Because of a treaty, the Cullens (Edward’s vampire family) aren’t allowed to enter La Push, the native reserve where Jacob lives. Naturally, Edward’s fangs get bent out of shape because he can’t keep an eye on Bella whenever she visits her friend, Jacob, on his turf. Conflict.

The story takes place in Forks, the rainiest place in the States. On those rare sunny days that hit the town, Edward can’t be seen in public because he goes all glittery. Not exactly a human trait. That, too, makes it difficult to keep an eye on Bella. Conflict.

You get where I’m going with this? Stephenie did an awesome job in using the setting to heighten the conflict within the story.

So next time you’re looking for conflict, see if you can do the same within your story dynamics. Maybe all you need to do is change the location of the scene. Pretty cool, huh?